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I Was Trapped In A Web Of Deception
Betrayed by a Friend
I decided to confront Suravi and tell her the truth. When our vacation was over, I went to college hoping to speak with her, but couldn’t find the right opportunity. The following day, my phone rang with a call from Raj, one of our mutual friends.
“Can I ask you something?” Raj said as I received.
“Sure, what’s up?” I replied.
“Why are you avoiding Suravi? Did something happen between you two?” he asked.
“I’m just focusing on my studies. I don’t want to waste her time or mine. I can talk to her, but I’d rather not,” I explained.
“Why not?” he inquired.
“I don’t harbor any romantic sentiments towards her. It’s important to me that I treat her with respect, so it’s best to move on.” I admitted.
“Oh, I see. Have you considered telling her the truth? She seems really upset lately, and her friends are worried,” Raj said.
“I’ll think about it. Thanks for letting me know,” I said before ending the call.
My mind was filled with a whirlwind of thoughts. “What if she doesn’t forgive me? What if she starts spreading this to others? How should I approach her?” These concerns raced through my head relentlessly. I mustered my courage and walked into the classroom. To my surprise, everyone was staring at me, and I had no idea why. I took a seat, feeling confused. Then, Piyush- my buddy spoke up softly.
“Chirag, the whole class is talking about you,” Piyush said.
“Why? How come I become so famous?” I asked, trying to play it cool.
“Raj called you yesterday, and he had Suravi at the conference without your knowledge. He asked you about ignoring her, and Suravi is now aware that you weren’t serious about her,” he explained.
“But why would Raj do that?” I questioned.
“Come on, Chirag. We all know that Suravi is the most beautiful girl in our college, and Raj is aware that you aren’t interested in her. He saw an opportunity to drive a wedge between you and Suravi, so he can make a move,” Piyush replied.
“Wow. In any case, I wanted to end things with her. I don’t care who dates who. Let’s concentrate on our studies,” I said.
Since I was already aware of Suravi’s character, I didn’t pay much attention to this incident. When I returned home from college, I shared the news with Pranshi, and she couldn’t contain her excitement upon hearing that I was once again unattached.
Living Alone At home
As I focused on my studies, life took an unexpected turn. Just a week later, my mother started experiencing intense pain in her pelvic bone. Worried, we took her to the doctor, who discovered a fracture that required immediate surgery. This news hit us hard, especially because I had my 12th board exams in just a few months. After lengthy discussions in family, it was decided that my mom and dad would have to go to Hyderabad for her surgery, leaving me alone at home for a month. It was a challenging time, but I embraced it with a sense of responsibility.
With no one around to cook for me, I resorted to eating at restaurants. However, when Pranshi’s mom and sisters discovered this, they became upset with me. One day, Pranshi’s sister called me and expressed her disappointment, saying, “Why are you eating out? We consider you a part of our family. Come and have meals at our home.”
Realizing their concern for me, I thought its a good idea to join them for meals at their place. We would often have dinner together, engaging in long conversations. Disha, Pranshi, and I also became close friends, frequently going shopping and exploring nearby places.
While we were all hanging out at a park one day, I noticed a familiar face from school taking pictures of us. Curious, I approached him to find out why he was capturing those moments.
Keeping Trust Despite Doubts
“Why are you taking pictures of us?” I asked.
“I’m taking these pictures to show Pranshi’s boyfriend that she’s spending time with other guys,” he replied.
“What do you mean? What’s going on? She’s single,” I responded in shock.
“No, she’s not telling you the truth. She only considers you her boyfriend at home to please her family since they know you well. But in college, she has another boyfriend whom she hangs out with while skipping classes,” he revealed.
I thought he might be doing it intentionally since he and I were not good friends in school and he was also envious of my relationship with Pranshi.
Upon learning about Pranshi’s double life, I kept silent and we returned home from the park. Despite being disturbed by this news, I chose to ignore it and maintain my trust in Pranshi.
I left home to stay with Sumay-uncle
After spending a week alone at home, my grandmother (Sumay-uncle’s mother), reached out to me. She suggested that I stay with them for a while. I discussed it with my father, and he agreed. The next day, I packed my study materials and headed to Sumay-uncle’s house.
When I arrived, I went straight to Sumay-uncle’s office room to meet him. He warmly greeted me, shaking my hand and asking how I was doing.
“Hope you’ll be staying with us for a while,” he said.
“Yes, I plan to stay for about two to three weeks,” I replied.
Even though I wasn’t really interested in devotional activities, I would still join Sumay-uncle and his friends for their daily morning and evening kirtan practice. I did it because everyone else was doing it. Sometimes, we would go out together and have a great time exploring different places. However, I found it hard to concentrate on my studies because there were many things that grabbed my attention and kept my mind occupied. Sumay-uncle would sometimes playfully tease me, saying things like, “You’re clueless. Your studies won’t get you anywhere.” I found these comments irritating, and I would get defensive in response. But instead of stopping, Sumay-uncle and his friends would laugh, which made me feel even more uncomfortable and self-conscious.
Every day, my father would call me and ask how my studies were going. He would stress the significance of using my time wisely, saying, “This is a crucial time. Avoid wasting your time on unimportant things.” He would remind me of this repeatedly. My mother would also talk to me and ask if I was comfortable with everything.
After spending about 20 days at Sumay-uncle’s house, I received news from my dad that the surgery was successful and they were returning home. It was time for me to go back home, however, I realized that something was missing once I returned. While staying at Sumay-uncle’s place, I had gotten used to hearing the chants of Srila Prabhupada resonating throughout the house. Their absence left me feeling empty. So, I decided to buy a new speaker from the market, loaded it with the chants on a USB, and played them at home. Even though I wasn’t deeply religious, as soon as I turned on the speaker, I felt a profound sense of peace. Unbeknownst to me, during my time at Sumay-uncle’s place, I had started to be influenced by him. One habit I picked up was performing Japa, which involves meditative chanting of mantras, every night before going to bed. This practice proved to be helpful in reducing stress and maintaining my focus on my studies.
The Truth Comes Out
After three months of rigorous preparation, my board exams were fast approaching, and I was confident about performing well. However, just before the exams, I stumbled upon something that greatly disturbed me and led me to make a significant decision in my life.
One of Pranshi’s friends reached out to me by phone and revealed, “Pranshi is playing with your emotions. She’s seeing someone else while also trying to get your attention.” Along with this revelation, the friend sent a photo of Pranshi standing with a guy at a place I didn’t recognize. It shook me, and I felt disturbed by the news, but I chose to remain silent and not react immediately. Instead, I texted Disha, expressing my frustration with Pranshi. I said, “I’m exhausted from dealing with this girl. Once my exams are over, I’m leaving and never want to see her again. She has no shame.”
After discovering Pranshi’s constant deceit, accepting the truth was challenging for me. My anger and sadness towards her intensified, making me feel more and more miserable. To distance myself from Pranshi and anything associated with her, I made the decision to pursue my engineering in a different place away from home town. As my board exams drew near, I dedicated myself entirely to preparing for them, determined not to let Pranshi’s actions distract me.
Regrettably, this decision turned out to be a mistake, even though someone I respected had warned me about it. I didn’t pay much attention to the warning and ended up making the wrong choice.
In the midst all of these, the intermediate board exam had already started and the initial subjects went decent.
Stay tuned to know what happened next…
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Emotions Stirred, But It Was Too Late
Suravi’s surprising proposal
The following day in the morning Suravi called me up to wish me good morning. We talked for about 10 minutes. She invited me to meet her at noon at a near by place. I agreed to come and we hung up. I arrived at the place at noon, and Suravi appeared behind me, asking me to follow her behind a nearby building. I felt nervous as she looked directly into my eyes.
I thought, “What does she want? Why she has called me here?”
Then she said, “You can propose to me one more time and I won’t reject you this time.”
I was unsure how to respond, so I paused before answering, “Last time you had rejected me. So, I am not going to propose to you once more. If you want to be with me, then you have to propose to me.”
Suravi smiled and said, “I want to be with you.”
I replied, “Okay. I accept your proposal”.
She was very happy and we took a selfie together. Then I left the place since I was feeling a bit uncomfortable. I reached home and showed our photo to my elder brother.
Brother’s advice
He smiled and said, “You should focus on your studies at this crucial point in your career. What’s this all about? And what about Pranshi?”
I replied, “Pranshi put me in the friend zone, but Suravi is interested in me. So, I decided to move on with her.”
He said, “Do as you wish but don’t forget that you are in a critical stage of your education. Concentrate on your studies.”
Pranshi’s mixed signals
I was planning to share a photo with my college friends after they challenged me, but I didn’t end up doing so. I shared the news of my new relationship with Pranshi and sent her a photo of me and Suravi to share my happiness. However, her response was a simple “Congratulations!” and then she went offline. I couldn’t comprehend the reason behind her behavior, but I decided not to dwell on it.
Later that evening, Pranshi’s mother and sisters called me to join them in visiting different Pandals for Durga Puja. I agreed to join them but was taken aback by Pranshi’s attitude toward me. She seemed distant and only spoke in taunts. It was like I was seeing a completely different side of her.
Whenever I spoke, she would respond with taunts about Suravi. Her behavior was getting on my nerves, so I decided to confront her.
I asked, “What’s the problem? Why are you speaking to me like that? You were the one who encouraged me to move on and find someone new. Now that I’m with Suravi, why are you constantly taunting me?”
Her eyes moistened and she didn’t say anything. I shouted at her in front of her sisters. Then her elder sister came up and asked, ‘Why are you fighting on the road?”
Then, I walked with them but kept a good distance from Pranshi. I was furious inside, and refused to speak to anyone. After maintaining silence for about 15 minutes, I was able to calm down and gain some clarity. I realized that Pranshi was feeling jealous of Suravi, and perhaps still harbored feelings for me. With this realization, I approached her and apologized, saying, “I’m sorry for shouting at you earlier.”
“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have taunted you,” she said apologetically, looking at me. Then, she smiled as we walked home together.
Difficult to understand Pranshi
Once I reached my house, I texted Pranshi to let her know I had made it home. She replied with a simple “Take care.”
“Do you still have feelings for me?” I asked her.
“No, I don’t have feelings for you,” she replied.
I was skeptical of her answer and asked, “Then why did you behave like a jealous girl? I know the truth even if you try to hide it from me.”
“That’s because I can’t see you with someone else,” she admitted.
I probed further, “What do you mean?”
“Okay…I confess. I have feelings for you. But now Suravi is there in your life. So, please take care of her,” she revealed.
I was taken aback by her confession and asked her, “Then why did you friend-zone me? You could have said this before.”
“Because I was scared whether you would accept me again. I have made a lot of mistakes, and you were furious with me,” she explained.
I decided to end the conversation for the night and told her to go and sleep, adding that we could talk more about it tomorrow.
The night of overwhelming emotions
Her emotions were overwhelming, and I was feeling sad for her. On the other hand, Suravi was making efforts to strengthen our relationship, leaving me in a dilemma.
Initially, I had no romantic feelings for Suravi; I had only pursued her as a challenge from my friends. Meanwhile, the girl I had truly loved was feeling heartbroken over me moving on with someone else. My anger and resentment towards Pranshi transformed into a complex emotion of guilt and justification, which seemed appropriate given the circumstances. I didn’t want her to suffer because of my actions. As a result, I ended up sleeping late that night.
Suravi’s invitation and Pranshi’s call
The following morning, Suravi called me to meet her at the park near my house. I tried to avoid her request, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn her down.
Then Pranshi called me up. “Hey, we are all going to the sea beach. Disha’s friends are also coming. Let’s go. We will relax there.”
“I have promised Suravi to meet her in the park. I can’t come now. But I can come in the evening.” I replied.
“Okay, we will go in the evening then.” She replied and hung up the call.
Despite feeling conflicted, I ultimately decided to go with the flow. I met Suravi at the park, and we spent around 30 minutes together. Later on, I went to the beach with Pranshi and her sisters. While we were there, Pranshi and I sat together on a bench by the seashore. Her sister and their friends sat at another place some distance away from us.
She sat quietly, her chin resting on her fists, gazing at the waves of the sea. Her hair was being gently tousled by the ocean breeze, and I watched her silently from the side, feeling a sense of sadness. We both were silent and the sound from the tides was prominent.
“So, what now?” I broke the silence and asked.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You know very well what I am talking about,” I replied.
“Nothing. You be happy with your Suravi and I will live my life,” she replied.
“Okay. So, you don’t have any problem?”, I asked.
She just nodded her head signaling a “no” with grief-stricken eyes.
“You were crying last night,” I said.
“How did you know?”, she asked surprisingly.
“I know a lot of things about you,” I said.
She didn’t say anything.
“When did you sleep last night?” I asked.
“I cried till 2 o’clock. Then fell asleep,” she replied.
I was shocked. I couldn’t say anything. Her emotions were compelling enough to resume with Pranshi. I went up and brought a bottle of cold drink and a packet of potato chips. I opened the packet and gently passed onto her. She looked down and refused to eat anything. The situation was becoming more and more intense for me. Then suddenly my mom called me and asked me to return home.
The decision to make
Pranshi’s behavior had a deep impact on me, and I felt compelled to clear things with Suravi. Fueled by my desire to make amends, I took a step forward. But little did I know that this decision would lead to a catastrophic mistake.
I had considered telling Suravi that my actions were solely intended to impress my friends and that I didn’t have any romantic feelings for her. However, I found myself unable to follow through with this plan. Meanwhile, Pranshi’s growing affection towards me was starting to shift my focus towards her instead.
The following day, I received a call from one of my college friends who inquired if Suravi and I were dating. In response, I claimed that she had proposed to me and we were now in a relationship.
I responded, “Yes, she actually proposed to me.”
“What? Are you out of your mind? She’s not a suitable match for you,” he exclaimed.
“Why do you say that?” I questioned.
“Because she views people as mere tools to be utilized for her own benefit. I’ve known her since sixth grade and I know her very well,” he warned.
“That’s not something she’s exhibited thus far. However, she does call me at least six times a day and forces me to talk to her, which I don’t really want,” I shared.
“Trust me, within a week, you’ll come to regret your decision,” he asserted.
“Okay, well, I’m not particularly attached to her anyways. Let’s see how things play out,” I replied before ending the call.
After my friend’s warning, I began to reconsider my feelings for Suravi and shifted my attention toward Pranshi. As a result, I started to ignore Suravi’s calls, which made her upset. However, as the college vacation came to an end, I realized that I needed to focus on my studies to secure good grades, so I decided to tell Suravi that I could no longer continue the relationship.
Ironically, it turned out that I had been deceived by both Suravi and Pranshi, and neither of them had genuine feelings for me. It took me a couple of months to figure this out, but I eventually did. It will be great to share how I discovered this, as well as why they had been pretending to like me.
Stay tuned to learn how did I learn that and why they were doing so…
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Loveship Turned Into Friendship
I failed again
After visiting Sumay-uncle’s house, I was inspired to start daily spirituality into my life. I decided to start by chanting the Hare Krishna Mantra for 10 to 15 minutes every night before bed and listening to the wisdom audios of Srila Prabhupada that Sumay-uncle had shared with me. This routine continued for a few weeks and I felt a sense of satisfaction after each chant each day, even though I wasn’t entirely sure of the purpose behind my practice. However, I eventually struggled to maintain this hearing and chanting, soon I realized – I was more interested in enjoying – playing cricket, hanging out, gathering at restaurants, and many others which was similar to my friends.
Despite my initial interest in spirituality, my lack of positive association ultimately led to a decline in my practice.
meeting disha again
By this time, I had already ended my connections with Pranshi, but her older sister Disha still kept in touch with me. One evening while I was out for shopping, I spotted Disha, and she noticed me too. She approached me with a friendly greeting.
“How are you? It’s been a long time since we met” she said.
I responded with a smile, “I’m well. Yeah, it has been some time. But we don’t have a reason to meet now.”
“Why? You were not only Pranshi’s boyfriend, but also my younger brother. We don’t need any reasons to meet” She said.
I was pleased to hear her kind words and said to her, “You’re right. We should catch up. Where are you headed?”
“I’m returning home from my coaching class. Why don’t you come to our place? It would be lovely to have you over for a chat,” Disha suggested.
“No, I can’t. You know that I and Pranshi are no more together. I am also afraid of your mom” I said.
“Don’t worry, my mom is aware of you. She’ll be happy to have you over. You can come over one evening, and we can catch up,” she reassured me.
“Okay. I will come one day. But not now.” I replied.
Then she said me bye and I also continued my shopping.
i was invited to pranshi’s house
Disha contacted me on the occasion of Rakhi Purnima, which was one month after our last conversation. This festival is celebrated in India, where sisters tie a thread on their brother’s wrists, and in return, the brothers promise to protect them. She invited me to their home. She loved me like her own younger brother, and she wanted to tie Rakhi to my hand. I hesitated at first, knowing that I hadn’t spoken to Pranshi in a while and it might be awkward for me to visit their house.
Then, Pranshi texted me out of the blue, “Are you coming over tomorrow?”
I replied calmly, “Yes, both of your sisters are insisting on me to come. But I am feeling uncomfortable.”
“Why uncomfortable? Forget about our past. We will have fun together. My mom will be happy to have you. You should come.” She said.
“Hmm…Okay, I will come.” I replied.
So, I agreed and the next day I went to her house. Pranshi’s two elder sisters welcomed me, and I was nervous because I had never spoken to their mother before. I also had an impression in my mind that their mother did not like me. But the scenario was completely different. I entered their house and touched the feet of her mother to show respect. She was very affectionate and talked lovingly. After some time, I felt a bit comfortable. At that time Pranshi was not home and had gone to her friend’s house. After an hour she came and smiled at me. Then we talked normally as friends.
Pranshi’s father served in the Indian Army, and was often stationed away from home. I spent about three hours at her home, and they were very friendly to me. They had prepared lunch for me and after having lunch her mother asked me to take a rest and stay for a couple of hours. From that day I became remarkably close to them. They used to invite me to birthday parties and other ceremonies. I had forgotten our past quarrels and stayed like good friends with Pranshi. Sometimes her sister would call me in the evening over chai and snacks. We used to talk about our college life, our school days and many other topics and spent time.
i was challenged by my friends
I was not committed to anyone and happy in my life. My friends would often ask me why I was not getting into another relationship. But I knew that I didn’t need that and I was also not interested to waste my time with a girl. There was a girl in our college named, Suravi who used to be very popular for her looks. Most of the guys were crazy after her except me.
One day, a friend told me, “Did you know that Suravi always gazes at you during class? Many of us have noticed it. Don’t you think she could be a good match for you?”
“No, I don’t see her as my girlfriend,” I replied, returning my attention to my math problems.
Some other day, while I and my friends were sitting and gossiping, Suravi entered the class. Almost everyone immediately turned their heads toward her.
Annoyed by my friends’ behavior, I said, “How cheap you all are. Just because a girl entered, you all are drooling over her.”
One of my friends retorted, “Yes, we’re looking at her because she’s beautiful. You’re talking like you’re a saint.”
“No, I am not a saintly person. But she is not that interesting.” I said.
“She is a dream for you. You can’t be her boyfriend whatever you may do.” One of my friends said.
“First thing, I am not interested in her. And if you are challenging me to make her mine then I can do it very easily” I said.
proposal went wrong
After class, I approached Suravi and said, ‘Hey, I need to talk to you.’”
“Huh! What?” She asked.
“Not now. After the college hour gets over I will meet you on the terrace. I have something important to say.” I said with an intense look.
She became confused and said, “No, I can’t come to the terrace. You say right now.”
“I am interested in you. Will you be my girlfriend?” I asked.
She didn’t say anything but only kept staring at me with eyes wide open. After pausing for a minute she said, “No. I won’t. I really don’t know how can you say this so directly.”
“What’s the problem in saying directly? I like you and that’s what I have said.” I said.
“What about Pranshi? Are you guys broken up?” She asked.
“Yes, It’s been more than three months since we had broken up,” I said.
“Oh! Really? But I am not ready for this relationship.” She said.
“Okay, I don’t have any issues,” I said and went home.
She called me despite rejecting me
After a week our college declared a holiday for a week due to the Durga Puja festival. I was lying on my bed and checking my phone. Suddenly I got a call and it was an unknown number. I received the phone and it was Suravi on the other side. I was surprised to hear her voice.
I asked her how come did she call me up? Then she said that she had taken my number from one of our mutual friends. She just wanted to talk to me as a good friend. So, she called me up.
I thought, “She must be also interested in me. Otherwise, why would she call me up?”
After a brief conversation lasting no more than five minutes, I ended the call with Suravi. The following day, she called me once again, this time inviting me to join her at the Durga Puja Pandal located near her residence in the evening. I went there and the place was very crowded. I couldn’t find her but she suddenly appeared in front of me out of nowhere. We exchanged smiles and then went inside to visit the Deity of Goddess Durga. The pandal was a stunning spectacle, adorned with bright lights and intricate decorations. After offering our brief prayers, we said bye to each other and returned to our homes.
It was a lovely day. But at night Pranshi called me up. Her family was planning to visit the Puja Pandals the following day. So, her mom and sisters were asking me to join them. I agreed to their invite.
But the next day in the morning something happened, that I had never imagined.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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Meeting The Pure Devotee
FINALLY, I SAW HIM
After waiting at the hospital entrance for some time I saw the main door opening. Then 4-5 devotees came out, all wearing white kurta and dhoti. Then I saw a person wearing saffron garments, tilak decorated on his forehead, a long and beautiful flower garland on his neck walking out slowly holding a support stick in his hand. When he glanced at his surroundings, I became astonished to see the way he was looking. A sense of bliss and peace was emanating from him. Then suddenly Swastik-uncle said, “Here comes Gurudev. let’s go near him.”
I followed my uncle. There were 3-4 stairs at the entrance of that hospital. Gurudev stood near the edge of the topmost stair. My uncle went and bowed down in front of him. I also did the same. My uncle introduced me by saying, “Gurudev! He is my nephew.” Then Gurudev looked at me with so much care and affection that was beyond my imagination. He caressed his hand on my head and asked, “What is your name? What are you studying now?”. I replied to him with a smile on my face, “My name is Chirag. I am in my intermediates studying science.” Then he nodded his head with a smile and started coming downstairs. My uncle held his right arm and helped him to come down and one of his disciples held his left arm. That one interaction with Gurudev was an inexpressible experience for me. I had never experienced such care and affection in my existing relationships till now.
HE BESTOWED HIS MERCY UPON ME
Then Gurudev went inside my uncle’s car and sat in the front seat. I sat in the back and could not take my eyes off Gurudev, I kept on observing him. He was talking to my uncle about an event to be organized. But I was looking at Gurudev only. Then my uncle drove his car to Gurudev’s house. We went inside his home, and we sat on the floor. I had no clue why we had gone to his house. Gurudev sat before us on the bed. My uncle took out a garland made of fresh flowers from a bag and offered it to Gurudev. Then I made out that it was Gurudev’s appearance day (The birthday of Vaishnava Saints are called appearance days). I and my uncle again offered our respects unto him. Then Gurudev took out his garland and gave it to my uncle as a gift. My uncle wore it and sat beside me. Then Gurudev looked at me and asked my uncle to bring another garland that was hanging on the door in his room. Then I went near Gurudev, and he gave that garland to me. After that, Gurudev’s wife gave us some sweets to eat.
Gurudev and my uncle had a brief conversation for about 10 minutes and we took permission from him to go. After sitting in the car my uncle drove to Sumay-uncle’s house. He had invited us to join them in the celebration of Srila Prabhupada’s (Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa) appearance day. On our way, Swastik-uncle said, “In the first meet, he remembered your name and bestowed his mercy upon you. You are very fortunate.”
“Yes. I am feeling very happy now after meeting him. What is his name?” I asked.
“His name is Srila Sachinandan Goswami.” replied my uncle.
After taking a pause he said, “He is a disciple of Srila Gour Govinda Swami, a world-renowned spiritual master, and disciple of His Divine Grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada”.
I was glad to meet such an exalted personality but at that time, I didn’t realize the importance of that meeting until the day it was revealed to me by one of my well-wishers. I will narrate this in the coming chapters.
After thirty minutes we reached Sumay-uncle’s place. When I entered the house, Sumay-uncle and his friends were performing kirtan. The ladies were engaged in preparing delicious foodstuffs to offer to Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krishna. They seemed to be doing everything with enthusiasm and jubilation.
GIVING EXCUSES DIDN’T HELP ME
After some time, Sumay-uncle did Arotik and offered food to the deities. 3-4 ladies were bringing the freshly cooked food to the temple room. Another friend of Sumay-uncle named, Sarthak was inside the temple room and fanning the food to keep the flies away. After all the dishes were brought and kept in front of the deities, everyone bowed down and prayed to Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krishna to accept the food offered. Then we chanted for about 10 minutes and again the ladies took the offered food from the temple back to the kitchen. After the food offering and kirtan was over, we sat at the dining table to eat Prasadam (offered food).
Sumay-uncle made me sit beside him.
“So, how’s life going mate?” He asked with a smile.
“Yeah, everything is good,” I replied.
“Really! I don’t think so. I think you are lost in your own world of college, study, and so-called girl-friends.” He said with a sidelong glance.
“No, I don’t have any girlfriend. But yes, I am busy with my studies.” I said.
“Hmm… okay let’s enjoy the feast first, then we will have our chit-chat in my room.” He replied.
Then my aunt and grandma served us delicious food. There was fried rice prepared in ghee (clarified butter), Samosa, Puri, Dal-makhni, Paneer curry (cottage-cheese), Kheer (Sweet Rice), and so on. I enjoyed them to the fullest. After having our meal, I and Sumay-uncle went to his room to take rest.
“So, are you hearing the chants regularly that I had sent?” asked Sumay-uncle.
“No, I don’t have enough time for that since I remain very busy with my studies. I sometimes hear them to relax” I replied.
“Really! How many hours are you giving to your studies? Don’t fool me. You are a lazy guy and not serious about your spiritual life. You just want enjoyment like so-called relationships and other time pass”, he said.
His words were a bit harsh at that moment, and I could not handle them. But I tried to keep calm and said, “Hmm… You are right”.
“Alright for how many days you are here now?”, he asked.
“I will stay for 3 days and then return”, I replied.
“You should stay longer, but anyways I will spend some time with you”, he said.
After that in the evening, Sumay-uncle and his friends did kirtan for two hours. I also joined them, but I was not that much interested in that. I just wanted to gossip with others. But I had to sit with them for two hours. I stayed there for three days. Things went pretty well and before leaving his place Sumay-uncle gave some audio wisdom messages of Srila Prabhupada. I promised him that I would hear them.
“I know you won’t do. You will again start doing all the nonsense like before. You will waste your time with your so-called girlfriends and studies. But anyways I am giving you the most precious thing. It is up to you how you utilize it” said Sumay-uncle.
I thanked him and left for my hometown.
I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF
I found his words bitter at that moment, because I used to be the perfect person in my view. What he said was true, but I did not like to be criticized. I returned home and said to myself, “This time I will hear the chants and lectures. I will devote more time to hearing the chants and lectures.” But things went completely differently than I had thought. My life became more complicated and a new hurdle was waiting for me.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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We Broke-up But I Was Happy
After coming back from Sumay-uncle’s house, I shared my experience with Pranshi. I also advised her to quit non-veg & she also showed some eagerness to do that. I used to ask her whether she heard the chants or not.
She would say ‘Yes’ & I would become very happy. But after some days, I reduced my hearing of the chants. Then slowly after a month I again started watching movies and listening to movie songs. In the meantime, my first-year results of intermediate were out. I had performed very poorly. My parents and teachers were unhappy, but I promised them to do well in the board exams.
I started taking my studies seriously. I purchased some reference books and started practicing solving problems. My second-year academics started, and I tried not to skip a single class. So, my attempt to become sincere in my studies used to drain out all my energy and time. I had very less time for Pranshi. But fortunately, she didn’t complain about that, and she also understood my situation. In my first year, I used to meet Pranshi twice a week. But in the second year, I could meet her once every two weeks. Sometimes I used to feel annoyed with my academic pressure. Two months passed and I had not spent some quality time with Pranshi.
SHE CAME TO MY HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME
So, one day while talking to her over the phone, she said, “You know it’s been a long time since we met. I want to see you.”
“Yes, I know. But what can I do? Your college time is different from mine. So, I have to bunk my classes to meet you.” I replied.
“No, no. Please focus on your studies. You don’t need to bunk your class to meet me.” She said.
“Let’s do one thing. Why don’t you come to my house? You can come with Disha. My parents are not conservative. They won’t raise any issues.” I said.
“Haw! No, No. I won’t dare to do that. I can’t come to your home.” she said.
“Why? What’s the problem? Okay, I will arrange this meeting.” I said and hung up the phone.
I texted her sister, Disha on WhatsApp and requested to come to my home. And fortunately, she agreed to come.
Then, I immediately started sorting my stuff. I had kept my room a bit messy. My mom saw it and asked me, “What are you doing?”
“Can’t you see? My room is so messed up with textbooks and broken pen caps. I am cleaning it and sorting them.” I replied.
It took an hour to clean everything. That day, my dad had gone out of town for some office work. So, it was like a cherry on top.
I asked my mom, “Hey mom! One of my school friends is coming to our home today in the evening. It’s been a long time since we met. So, do you have any problem if she comes?”
“No, what problem would I have?” she said and looked at me.
After a pause, she again said, “So, this is the reason why you were cleaning your room huh?”
I just laughed and went outside. In the evening Pranshi and Disha came together to my home. My mom served some snacks and had some chit-chat with them. After spending about an hour, they left. While I was seeing them off at our doorstep, Pranshi slowly said in my ears, “My heart is still beating very fast. I had never thought that I would come to your house ever.”
I just looked at her and smiled without saying anything. After she reached her home, she called me up and expressed her joy.
“You know, I am very happy today. For the very first time, I met your mom. She is so innocent and sweet. I liked your mom more than you.” she said.
“Oh! Why so?” I asked.
“Since you are very rude. You always talk to me rudely and without any feelings. But your mom is so sweet. She talked to me only for a little time but that was so nice.” she replied.
“Hmm… Yes, she is innocent. I am glad that you liked her.” I said.
“Okay, I am hanging up the phone now. I will go to college tomorrow, so I can’t talk till evening,” she said.
“Tomorrow is Sunday, right? What kind of college is that?” I asked.
“No, we have extra classes. Since we are lagging behind the course plan,” she said.
“Okay. I will enjoy my Sunday. You go and study.” I said and hung up the phone.
The next morning, she wished me good morning with a heart emoticon on WhatsApp.
I thought, “Wow, I think it was a good idea to invite her to our home. She is treating me so lovingly.”
her sister said, “she was faking”
Then I got busy with my studies and later on went to play cricket with my friends. Then in the evening, she called me up. But after talking to me for only five minutes she said, “I am getting an important call now. I will talk to you later.”
At first, I felt a bit weird. But then I ignored it. I waited for half an hour, but she didn’t call me. I tried calling her, but her phone was switched off.
“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” I became tense. Then I went outside to hang out with my friends. After two hours, Pranshi’s elder sister Disha called me up and said, “Please do not talk to Pranshi anymore.”
I was shocked to hear such words from her. I asked her, “Why?”
“Do you know that she is still talking to that Sourav? Moreover, she is even roaming around with him,” said Disha.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“I asked her friend who stays near our house. There were no extra classes today. Pranshi made an excuse that she had an extra class and went with Sourav to roam on his bike.” Disha said angrily.
“Hmm…So, this is what she has been doing behind my back. Wow!” I scoffed and said.
“She has broken your trust again. I am sorry to say. Please stay away from her. Your life will be spoiled if you stay with her. You are like my brother so; I am advising you.” said Disha.
When I heard all these things about Pranshi from her elder sister, I did not feel disappointed rather I just smiled.
After half an hour, I called up Pranshi and said, “What’s your problem? If you want to go, then why not forever? Why are you coming into my life and screwing things up? You are no better than a fox.”
She didn’t say anything but was in a state of shock. “Don’t call me ever again. I don’t want to see your face. Goodbye,” I said & hung up the phone.
I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Although I had broken off my relationship with Pranshi, this time I didn’t feel sad. I felt like a burden was released off my shoulders. I said to myself, “From now on, I will completely focus on my studies and live peacefully.”
I made a daily routine to stay more focused on my studies. After a month, our college declared a mini summer vacation of ten days. I also wanted to take a break from my studies.
AN INHIBITION WORTH REMEMBERING
So, I wanted to go to Swastik-uncle’s house. My father was not allowing me to go there and wanted me to stay at home. I was surprised at his behavior. He had never stopped me from going anywhere before that but this time he became terribly angry with me.
He said, “If you step out of my home, I will not talk to you ever again.”
I was frightened upon hearing such words from my dad. I went up to my mom and said, “What’s wrong with dad? I just want to chill out. I am working so hard, so what’s the problem if I take a break for a week?”
“I don’t know. You go and I will persuade him. Don’t worry.” My mom said.
At that time, I was unable to understand why my dad was reluctant. But I understood the reason after 5 years. That will be explained in the upcoming chapters.
Despite my father’s reluctance, I went to Swastik-uncle’s house. He was glad to see me, and we had a good time. My aunt prepared delicious foodstuffs and we enjoyed them together. The next day in the morning he said, “Get ready, we are going to meet someone special today.”
I became curious to meet him
I asked him, “Who is he?”. He replied, “A pure devotee and an exalted Vaishnava Guru“. I got excited after hearing his words. I kept on asking like a child, “Who is he? Where does he live?”. He smiled and said, “Get ready and we will meet him.”
I freshened up and got ready and sat inside the car. My uncle took me to a hospital. I was surprised at this and asked, “Why are we here? Is he sick or what?”.
“No, no, one of his disciples is admitted to this hospital and he has come here to see him”, my uncle replied.
I was waiting curiously to see him. I had never seen a Vaishnava Guru before that day. I started imagining him, his appearance, his personality, etc. Fifteen minutes passed and we were waiting outside the hospital entrance.
Then my uncle said, “When going in front of him, bow down before him. But don’t touch his feet.”
“Why? What’s wrong with touching the feet of a Vaishnava?” I asked.
“When you touch his feet, you transfer your sins to him, and he has to suffer for your sinful acts” he replied.
“Really! I didn’t know that” I said.
I was asking my uncle every 2-3 minutes, “When will Gurudeva come?”. He used to say, “Wait, he is coming. He is not an ordinary person. You should bear patience to meet such an exalted personality. Your whole life will be changed after seeing him. Let’s see how he interacts with you”, my uncle replied.
After 2 minutes the entrance door was opened and some devotees wearing white Dhoti and Kurta with shaven heads came out. They were wearing Tulsi beads on their necks and Tilak on their foreheads. My heart started beating faster. But I couldn’t recognize Gurudeva among them. Then something wonderful happened which I can never forget in my life.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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I Found a New World
a conversation that changed my perception
After the wisdom class, I and my uncle went to the living room. I asked him to say more about Srila Prabhupada. He said, “We address our spiritual master as Srila Prabhupada because he is the representative of Lord Krishna”.
“But I knew someone else as Srila Prabhupada,” I asked.
“Yes, we call him Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. He is the founder Acharya of ISKCON, and Srila Prabhupada is one of his disciples” Sumay-uncle said.
“What is his name?” I asked.
“His yoga name is Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa,” he said.
I started thinking, “So, who is greater?”
After a pause, he said on his own, “There is no difference between his teachings and his spiritual master’s teachings. Both represent Krishna and talk about the same philosophy. Like father and son. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada has left this world. Now, Srila Prabhupada is the representative of him, and Krishna. So, you should not be confused about his authority. He is a bonafide spiritual master who teaches Krishna Consciousness.”
“How did he know what was going on in my mind? That means he can read my mind. Maybe he has the same thought process as mine.” I kept thinking for a while.
Knowing about the spiritual relationship between Srila Prabhupada and Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada – was a bit heavy for me at that point of time. So, I just nodded my head. Then, he smiled and asked me, “What do you want to do in your life?”. I had no clue what to say. So, I just said that I wanted to earn a lot of money and live a luxurious life.
He laughed and said, “Yes that is all right. But this cannot be the goal of your life. Persons who are living such a lifestyle also have goals in their lives. So, what is your goal.”
“I have no goals. I don’t know how to choose a goal” I replied.
“Hmm, so this is a sign of danger,” he said.
“What is your goal in life?” I asked him.
“I want to do something which could benefit people spiritually,” he said.
I put my face down on a pillow and said, “Okay, I will think about my goal”. I used to think of myself as a very mature and good decision-maker. But when I sat in front of him, I started feeling very low about myself, as if I was a fool.
sumay-uncle asked about my girlfriend
Suddenly he asked me something which I had not even expected.
“Do you have any girlfriends?” he asked.
I thought for a while, “Should I tell him the truth?”
“Yes, I do have a girlfriend,” I replied.
Okay then show me her photo. I opened my gallery and showed him one photo of Pranshi.
“Oh! This girl looks such a dumbo.” He said.
“Huh? Dumbo?” I asked.He said, “It’s okay to have a girlfriend, but you should help each other to live a spiritual life. Having a girlfriend is not a license to enjoy her body. You must be concerned about her material as well as spiritual well-being.
“What do you mean by spiritual well-being?” I asked.
“Spiritual well-being means, helping other people to walk on the path of spirituality.” He replied.
“Is it about chanting on beads and doing Kirtan?” I asked him with curiosity.
“Yeah, you can say. But that is one part of spiritual life. What will I say to you now? You are a fool number one. You must walk on this path first, then you can help her. Otherwise, it will be like a blind leading another blind.” He said.
Although I didn’t like him criticizing me, but deep down inside, I knew that he was right. So, I replied, “Yes I will practice it. Please give me some chants to hear.”
“Okay, I will send you some chants,” he said.
I was looking down and he was gazing at me like he was reading what I was thinking in my mind. Suddenly my aunt came and said, “Let’s go downstairs. Dinner is ready.”
“Okay, let’s go,” said my uncle. While going downstairs my aunt was leading, Sumay-uncle was in the middle, and I was at last thinking about uncle’s words. Then my uncle turned around and said, “You are a lazy guy.” He laughed out loudly. I could understand he wanted to lighten my mood since the conversation was a bit heavy and I was quite young to grasp them.
We went downstairs and sat at the dining table. While having lunch, my grandma asked me, “So, are you having a good time?
“Yes, I am loving it” I replied and smiled.
“So, you should come once a month,” she said.
“No, you know my parents. They won’t allow me for that. I can come once every six months.” I said.
“No, don’t blame parents. If you have a strong desire to come here, they will allow you.” Sumay-uncle replied.
At that time, I couldn’t understand the depth of this statement. But I realized this after 7 years of this incident. I will narrate them in the upcoming chapters.
I had already stayed for 4 days at his place. My mom called me up and asked me to return home the next day. My father never liked our staying at any relative’s home for more than three days. The next day I packed my bags and took permission from my grandma and Sumay-uncle’s to leave.
“It would have been better if you had stayed for 2 more days. I am planning to go to Puri. But it’s your choice.” My uncle said.
“Wow, I would love to go there. But my parents are not happy with my long stay. So, I got to go.” I replied.
“Okay, it’s nice to have you here. Next time, do come for a longer period,” he said.
travelling & listening mantras, an amazing experience
It was time to say goodbye to all of them. I found that my uncle had already sent me some mantra chants on my phone. So, when I boarded the bus, I plugged in my earphones and started listening to them. It was an amazing experience. Before that, I used to hear Hindi Bollywood movie songs. But for the very first time in my life, I was hearing the sacred mantras while traveling. The chants were like modern Bhajans where many western musical instruments were played. Altogether the melody was enchanting, and I was getting immersed in them. A sense of excitement was running through my heart.
Suddenly, Pranshi’s face came into my mind. I thought, “I am enjoying these beautiful chants, I will also share them with Pranshi. She might like them as well.” Then Sumay-uncle’s words echoed in my mind regarding my relationship with Pranshi.
Then I mused, “I think Sumay-uncle is right. It’s been more than a year and I am still trying to make our relationship stronger. Sometimes she is getting angry with me, and sometimes someone else is captivating her mind. What will happen, if I share my experiences with her of what I learned from my uncle? Will she accept this, and we could make our relationship successful? I will talk to her and see her reaction.”
I reached home after 3 hours of the bus journey. After reaching home, I called up Pranshi to talk. She asked me about my small vacation at Sumay-uncle’s home. I shared some of my experiences with her.
i tried to convince her to adopt spiritual life
I said, “You know, I think we should begin our spiritual journey together.”
She asked surprisingly, “What? What do you mean by that?”
I was excited to share about my visit to Uncle’s house – I said, “I saw many spiritual activities happening throughout the day. It was very new to me, but it was exciting… I liked them. I also saw how my uncle and aunty are so happy living a spiritual life. They chant the sacred mantras together in the evening, they talk about spiritual philosophy, their spiritual identity, Krishna, and they teach their child the same. And I think this is the only thing that has bound them together with happiness.”
She said, “Oh! Really? Okay, so what shall I do then? You tell me.”
At that time, I was blank since I had no idea what to tell her.
After a pause, I said, “I am sending you a chant. You start hearing it. Then slowly we might walk together on the path.”She said, “Okay, send it, and I will hear.”
I sent her on WhatsApp. “Let me know how you liked it after you hear,” I said.
I thought I had done a very good job and there would be no hindrance in our relationship. But factually, I was in complete ignorance. I was asking her to do something which I was not doing myself. I behaved like a fanatic, but I was not even aware of it.
After two days, I asked her, “So, did you hear the chant?”
“Yes, I did. I also liked that” she said.
“Really! How many times did you hear that?” I asked.
“I heard it 3 times,” she said.
I took a pause. Then I said, “Do you know how many species there in this world are?”
“No, I don’t know,” she said.
“There are 8.4 million species in the world. And out of them, there are 400 thousand human species only.” I said.
“Wow! I didn’t know that” she exclaimed.
“Yes, and out of those 400 thousand types of human beings, those who are born in India are the most fortunate,” I said.
“How?”, She asked.
“Because we hear about Lord Krishna from the beginning of our birth. Our parents also take us to the temples. Many species of human beings stay in forests and roam naked, and they are not civilized. They hunt innocent animals and eat them. They don’t even know about God.” I said.
“Yes, that’s true,” she said.
“So, even after knowing all these things, will you continue to eat non-veg? I think you should stop eating non-veg. There is so much cruelty done to these innocent animals, and you are taking pleasure in eating them. If you want to live with me in the future, then you must abandon eating non-veg.” I said.
She became quiet. After some seconds, she replied, “Hmm… okay I will try”.
“Very good. I am glad that you appreciated my thoughts.” I said with joy.
I became very happy, that Pranshi agreed to live the way I wanted. But that was not true at all. She was doing something else behind my back which I discovered after a month and my love for her was completely demolished. I took a big decision by being carried away with that incident which later made my life worse.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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Things Started Changing
she texted me & it wasn’t an apology
I unlocked my phone screen and saw Pranshi’s had text.
“Whatever you did was not good. You shouldn’t have called my sister.” She said.
“Really! And you wanted me to watch your nonsense silently. I had never thought that you would do this.” I replied.
She saw the text and didn’t say anything. I was not able to sleep but thinking about her. After a couple of hours, I fell asleep.
In the morning I got up and checked my phone to see whether she had texted me. There was no text from her. Then I freshened up and left for college. My face had become so dull, anyone in the world could see that I was going through a precarious situation. I entered the class and quietly took my seat. Piyush used to sit by my side. He noticed me and asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah! I am fine.” I replied.
“Yes, I can sense that from your face. Don’t be so sad. Just forget her and let’s study. After a week we have our final exams. Don’t you know that?” he said.
“Yeah. But I don’t know why she messes things up during or right before my important exams. Last year, she did the same thing before my board exams.” I said annoyingly.
“Leave it, man. Let’s study together.” he said.
“You are right. Let’s do it.” I got charged up.
During my college hours I focused on my studies and involved myself in the lectures, asked questions, and solved problems. But when the time came to return home, I became sad. But I didn’t want to waste my time anymore. I had slackened a lot in my studies because of being too engrossed in that relationship, so I had to work harder to catch up with the course. Two days passed, and I was slowly recovering from the trauma of breaking off with Pranshi. Suddenly my phone rang, and it was an unknown number.
her sister tried to fix things up
I received the phone and said, “Hello!”
“Hello! Do you remember me?” A girl asked.
“No! I am sorry I couldn’t recognize you.” I said.
“I am Trisha, Pranshi’s eldest sister.” She said.
Till then, I didn’t have her number on my phone. Then I replied, “Oh, yes. I didn’t have your number on my phone so, I couldn’t recognize you.”
“It’s alright. So, how are you?” She asked.
“Yeah! I am good.” I replied.
“I know whatever Pranshi did to you wasn’t fair. She is not mature enough to understand you. She is following her friend’s wicked advice. That’s why she has lost her intelligence.” She said.
“Yeah! I know. But what can I do now? She has done this for the second time.” I said.
“I request you to talk to her and she will gradually understand you.” She said.
“No! I can’t. I don’t even want to talk to her. She alleged me in front of your mom. My only fault was I caught her with a stranger.” I replied.
“Yes, I know everything. That was not good. But trust me. If you talk to her again and give her some time, she will never leave you. She did this out of immaturity. She is repenting now.” She said.
“Okay! I will talk to her after some days. I am not feeling good now.” I said.
“Yes, you take your time.” She said.
finally, she apologized
I hung up the call and felt a bit relaxed. Although I was angry with Pranshi, deep inside I wanted her back in my life. I had never looked at any other girl except her. So, it was very difficult for me to leave her. I was thinking of calling her, and then Pranshi called me up. She apologized to me, and she seemed very sad and disturbed.
“I don’t understand. Why are you doing all this nonsense and getting disturbed? Why don’t you keep life simple? Just because I couldn’t give you time, you approached another guy. So, that was your love for me right!” I chastised her.
“I am sorry! I couldn’t realize it at that moment. I will not do this again.” She said.
I became happy after hearing such words from her. But from inside, I was feeling a bit weird. As if someone was telling me from inside, “She will do this again. Don’t trust her.”
But I didn’t care about it. I became normal, and we started talking to each other like before. After some days, my first year’s final exam appeared. Since I was so much engrossed in my relationship, I couldn’t focus on my studies. As a result, I performed very poorly. I admitted before my dad that I couldn’t do well. I also promised him to do well in the second-year final exam.
a MUCH-NEEDED break
After my exams, we had an off for 10 days. I wanted a break from my life. I talked to Sumay-uncle over WhatsApp and informed him about my vacation. So, he invited me to his place. He wanted me to spend more time with him so that, I could grow more spiritually. I went to his place, and he was happy to see me.
“So, how’s life going?” He asked.
“Everything is good.” I replied.
“Really! I don’t think so. I feel like you are completely lost in your world. You are always busy with material affairs and that is constantly eating you up.” He replied.
“Yes, I have to. Since at this age, I must endeavor to make my career.” I replied.
“You think I haven’t made my career? Am I not earning money?” He asked.
“But your situation is different than mine.” I replied.
“Okay. You chill out here and spend more time with spirituality.” He said.
The next day we visited the temple of Lord Krishna. It was about 20-25 KM away from his house. The premise was beautifully decorated with a lot of beautiful paintings and sculptures. Inside the main temple, there was the deity of Lord Krishna. After offering my obeisance to the deity, I and Sumay-uncle sat in a hall to have lunch. The servitors served verities of Prasadam. It was delicious. After eating Prasadam we took a rest for about half an hour. Then we returned home.
curiosity arose in my mind
While returning to his house from the temple, a question arose in my mind, and I immediately asked him, “How does Krishna look? Like Some of the pictures portray Him as black and some portray him as blue. But what is His color?”
He looked at me and said, “Krishna’s color is like a cloud containing water. The beauty of nature is only a tiny percent of His beauty.”
After hearing him, I became curious to know more about Lord Krishna & His pastimes. So, I asked him for some scriptures and resources to learn more about Krishna.
“The day you will go back to your home, I will give you some books to read and lectures to hear.” Sumay-uncle replied.
We reached home in an hour. After some time, his friends gathered in front of the temple room and did Kirtan by playing various musical instruments. After the kirtan, all of them went to a room for attending the spiritual class. Some of his friends and cousin brothers asked him questions related to spirituality.
Someone asked, “How we are related to God? What is our natural function?”
Sumay-uncle replied, “We are all parts and parcels of Krishna. He is the Supreme person, and we are His children. This world is not our real home. Everything in this world is temporary. Our bodies are also temporary. We are living inside this temporary body. We are eternal and belong to the eternal spiritual world.”
After hearing his words, I felt like it was just a story. I couldn’t accept his words easily.
“So, how can we go back to the Spiritual world?” I asked.
“This process of chanting the Holy Names of Krishna is the only way to get out of this world and go back to our original world.” he said.
I didn’t know anything about it. But his explanation was simple, and that moved me. Then he played an audio lecture. As soon as he played the lecture everyone bowed down to the speaker. I also imitated them but didn’t understand the reason behind them. A person started speaking about life, our real identity, and our connection with the Supreme Person. After 10 minutes the lecture was over, and all of them including my uncle again bowed down and shouted, “Jay Srila Prabhupada”. I learned that the person who was speaking was Srila Prabhupada.
Till then I knew that the founder Acharya of ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness) is known as Srila Prabhupada. And he was an old man who belonged to India. But the person I heard seemed to be an American. These kinds of doubts began to poke my mind. So, I asked my uncle to clear these doubts. He said, after the class, we would sit together and talk about it. After that, he asked me to sit with him in his room and he spoke a lot of things about Krishna, Srila Prabhupada, and my life. Then he asked me something that I had never expected.
Stay tuned to know what he asked…
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She Alleged Me in Front of Everyone.
I saw Pranshi and Sourav walking together. I stopped both of them. I was infuriated and my eyes had turned red in anger. Pranshi had already hurt my ego by ignoring me, and this time I caught her with another guy.
I questioned Her
Somehow, I controlled myself and asked Pranshi, “What is going on?”
“What? Nothing. I am coming home from college.” She arrogantly replied.
“Who is this guy walking with you?” I asked with raised eyebrows.
“He is my friend. He has come to drop me home.” She replied.
“Hmm, so you are walking home with this guy, and you didn’t even care to inform me,” I said.
“So, what? He is just my friend. It was getting dark so, he asked to accompany me.” She said.
“Today it was getting dark. But what about yesterday? You were hanging out with him on the riverside, yeah?” I asked strongly with a suspicious look on my face.
“Ah! Amm…What? Riverside? What are you saying?” She fumbled.
“You are a bloody idiot. You think I don’t know anything about what you are doing behind my back. Huh?” I yelled at her.
“Dd… did you go to the riverside that day?” She asked with fearfulness in her eyes.
“Shut up!” I said with bulging-reddened eyes.
“Please let me go now.” She said.
“You please go away from here. Please go away.” She requested Sourav.
I looked at Sourav and said, “Don’t you dare to move a step from here. Just stand there. I will teach you a lesson today so that you will never hanker after other’s girlfriend.”
Sourav started shaking with fear. One of my friends said, “Chirag! Just solve the matter with Pranshi. We will take care of this guy.” They caught him by his hands. He started crying and begging us to leave him.
“Hey! Don’t cry like an idiot. I will ask some questions and let you go.” I said.
Then I looked at Pranshi and said, “Shall I call Disha and show your reality?”
“No! No need to call her.” She said.
“I am calling her now. She will come here and see your praiseworthy act.” I said and called up Disha.
She received the call. “Please come to the street in front of your house. I have caught your sister with a guy.”
her mother saw me first time
She immediately came with her mother. After seeing Disha and her mom arriving on the spot my friends loosened their hold on Sourav and stayed behind me. Her mom walked up to Pranshi and then looked at me. She was seeing me for the very first time.
Then she asked Pranshi, “What’s going on?”
Then something happened that I could never even expect.
Pranshi immediately raised her fingers pointing toward me and said, “Ask this guy why he has stopped me and my friend.”
I was in a state of shock, after hearing such words from Pranshi. She was the same girl who used to lie to her mom and make excuses only to meet me. But then, she became a different person. She had so much hatred and anger against me that she forgot everything.
Upon hearing Pranshi’s allegations, her mom looked at me. I didn’t say a word but looked at her mom constantly without any guilt about what I had done.
There was an awkward silence on the spot. Then Disha broke the silence and shouted at Pranshi, “Why are you pointing fingers at him? He has told me everything. And you have no right to blame him. You are the main culprit.”
Pranshi said nothing but looked down. Her mom held her hands and took her home. Disha looked at me and said, “You please go home and take rest. Don’t stress yourself too much.”
i threatened sourav
In some time, Pranshi and her family left the place. But my friends were infuriated, and they wanted to thrash Sourav badly. But I controlled my anger and tried to sort everything out. I calmly asked him to explain everything about their secret relationship.
At first, he was hesitant and tried to escape with a false story.
“You want to go home or stand here all night? Do you see around yourself? I will say them once and they will thrash you like you might have never seen before. So, it’s better to tell me the truth. I promise you, that I will personally drop you home.” I assured him.
“Please forgive me. Please leave me. Pranshi is just my friend. I will never come this way again in my life.”, He pleaded.
“I am not interested in talking to you. But I want to know what happened between you and Pranshi. How did you guys come so close? Tell me now. Don’t waste my time.” I said.
finally! the truth came out
“Okay! I will explain now.” He said.
He took his phone out of his pocket and opened the Facebook messenger app. He scrolled his chats with Pranshi.
“Look! When you and Pranshi were not having a good time, she used to text me as a friend. I also like her. So, I tried to pacify her and evoke feelings in her heart for me. Then, one day she texted me that she wanted to be in a relationship with me.” Sourav explained.
“Really!” I exclaimed.
“Yes, but I asked Pranshi, “What about Chirag? Are you guys no longer together?”. And she replied, no we have broken up.” Sourav said.
“Hmm, okay! And when was that day?” I asked.
“It was yesterday. She talked to me about it in the morning. Then we decided to meet at the noon at the riverside. Our common friends brought her out of home, and we met there.” He said and he was already sweating, that too in a winter evening.
“Okay! You can sit on my bike. I will drop you home.” I said.
“No! I will walk home.” He said.
Then one of my friends said, “Chirag. Why are you letting this guy go? Just say once and we will thrash him. He won’t dare to eye someone else’s girlfriend ever again.”
Hearing my friend’s words, he began to cry again. And this time he pleaded with folded hands and knelt before me.
“Don’t do anything to him. It’s Pranshi’s mistake that she approached this guy. Had she not given him the opportunity he might not have done this. Leave him alone. You can go home now.” I said.
After seeing their conversation in Facebook, I was so enraged with Pranshi that I wanted to slap her hard. Then I returned home with a heavy mind and heart. I had never expected to be cheated like this. My friends tried to console me, but I was not ready to listen to anyone.
“I don’t understand what’s her problem. Is this what you get when you get into a relationship? Her commitment to staying loyal had no value. How could she do this?” I said to one of my friends.
“What can I say? She is not a trustworthy girl at all. Just leave her and focus on your studies. You are just 17 and you should focus on your career rather than wasting your time on a stupid girl.” said Piyush.
“Yeah, that’s true. But it’s very difficult for me to leave her.” I said.
“Hmm, I know it’s not easy. Okay, you try to stay calm,” he said.
her sister texted me
It was around 10 P.M. Disha texted me on WhatsApp, “Are you okay? Have you had your dinner?”
“No, I don’t want to eat anything. I can’t digest the fact that I was cheated by Pranshi one more time,” I replied.
“Although she is my little sister. But I don’t want to talk to her. I had never expected her to be like that.” She replied.
I just saw her text and turned my screen off. After a while, she again texted, “Don’t worry. You are like my younger brother, and I will always be in touch with you.”
“Today, when she alleged me in front of your mom, I was a little afraid. But you took my side. Thank you so much.” I said.
“I took your side because you were right. Okay, you sleep, and we will talk tomorrow,” she said.
I opened my gallery. I saw some photos of me and Pranshi. Then I deleted all her photos from my phone. I kept my phone beside me and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
Suddenly my phone vibrated. When I unlocked my phone, I saw a text from Pranshi.
Why did she text me after all these events?
Stay tuned to know what she said…
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I Saw Her with a Stranger
DOUBTS AROSE
The next day after the fight, I talked to her nicely. She also seemed pretty normal. Every night before going to sleep, I used to check her Facebook profile. One day I found that a guy named Sourav, who was in her college, had texted her. At first, I didn’t open the chat head. Since I thought it was inappropriate to invade someone’s private talks. But out of curiosity, I opened it. He had texted some romantic quotes and he was flirting with her. Pranshi didn’t reciprocate but she also didn’t oppose. This created doubt in my mind.
The next day after returning from college, I called her up.
“Who is Sourav?” I asked.
“He is my classmate. But he is not my friend. Why are you asking about him?” she replied.
“I saw some texts of him in your profile. He has sent some inappropriate texts like romantic quotes and poems. He is also flirting with you. Why haven’t you blocked him?” I asked.
“No, No! He is a very friendly and funny guy. He talks to everyone like this. He also has a girlfriend. Please don’t think anything negative.” she said.
“Alright. But please be careful. I don’t want anything as it happened before with Rakesh.” I replied.
“Don’t worry. I am only yours. I can’t even think of any other guy than you.” She said.
I was happy to hear that. I talked to myself, “I think I am unnecessarily doubting her. She is so loyal to me. Why am I even checking her profile.”
I told her, “You can change your password. I won’t check your profile anymore. This is creating confusion between us.”
“No problem. I won’t change it. You can always check whenever you want.” She said.
Her loyalty won my heart. I felt like I am a lucky guy to have such a loyal girlfriend.
I got busy with my studies and exams. Every evening I used to sit with my college friends at Piyush’s home for group study. It was more of a gossip hub than a group study. Some of us would mimic our teachers and make fun of them. Sometimes we would discuss our ambitions and fulfilling our dreams. Sometimes we would go out to have some street food. It was all a nice experience. Three months passed like this, and I was enjoying my life.
I WENT FOR A 5-DAY VACATION
One day my cousin-brother called me up. He and his parents were staying in Chhattisgarh, the neighboring state to Odisha. He invited me to his place since he had completed his post-graduation and wanted to celebrate.
I and my elder brother went to his place for a 5-day vacation. We were meeting after about 5 years. We visited some nearby scenic spots and had a lot of fun. So, I couldn’t give much time to Pranshi. We used to have short conversations and that too on WhatsApp only. I didn’t want my uncle (Father’s elder brother) and aunty to get even a small hint of my relationship. So, I told her not to call me during my vacation. She also agreed to do so.
I returned from my vacation and again got busy with my studies. I also missed some classes so; I had very little time to spend with Pranshi. She became angry and said, “You can’t even spend some time with me. What kind of relationship is this?”
“Okay, we can meet tomorrow, if you want,” I said.
“What? If you want? So, you don’t want to meet me, right?” She asked surprisingly.
“Of course, I want. But you know how busy I am with my studies.” I said.
“You don’t need to come. Please focus on your studies. We can meet after your exams. I have no issues.” She said.
“Thank you for understanding,” I said.
After hanging up the call, I thought, “Wow! She is so understanding. I am really lucky to have her.”
SHE STARTED TO CHANGE
She used to send a good morning text every day with a red heart emoticon and call me every evening after returning from her college. But after that conversation, her texting got less and less. She used to stay online but didn’t text me. Sometimes I would wait for her call, but she didn’t call me up.
This made me feel worried about her. When I asked her, she said, “You can also call me or wish me good morning. Why should I always call you.”
Although she said this gently, I got surprised to see such a reply from her. I couldn’t understand what had happened to her. At first, I thought, “Is she doing this to get my attention, or she is hooked up with that Sourav? Have I started her losing her again? Her replies are giving me negative vibes.”
Her attitude was almost changed. I started losing focus on my studies and thinking more about her changing attitude. I couldn’t bear her this kind of behavior and finally asked her, “Have you lost your interest in me? Did I do something wrong? We can meet tomorrow and spend some time together.”
“No. I am busy with my college function and studies. I have no time. We will meet after your exams get over.” She replied.
Her straightforward statement struck me like thunder. I became restless and went to my friends. I explained everything and they became worried about me.
One of my friends said, “Hey! Don’t be so serious. She must be really busy. Your exams are around the corner. So, please focus on that otherwise you won’t be able to score good grades.”
His words seemed reasonable to me and decided to focus on studies. I thought to talk to her sister, Disha once about this matter. I texted her and told her everything that was happening between me and Pranshi.
She said, “Don’t worry. I will talk to her.”
I felt a sense of relief. But I was constantly getting a vibe like Pranshi was telling lies to me. Someone from inside was telling me, “she may be cheating on you.”
I became so worried and perturbed that I couldn’t even sleep. Even it made me to skip attending college and also hampered my study routine. When my friends found me in this situation, they became annoyed with Pranshi.
Piyush was her friend on Facebook. So, he texted her, “What is wrong with both of you? Are you guys not talking to each other? He has lost his focus from study; he is not even attending classes. Please sort it out ASAP.”
Pranshi saw his message and replied, “OK! I will”.
SHE WAS SEEN WITH A STRANGER
But she didn’t do anything. I had never felt like that before. I was being ignored by a girl whom I loved so much. My friends suggested resuming college so that I could focus on things other than Pranshi. I tried the same… But that turned out to be more disturbing. One of my classmates came up to me and said, “I saw your girlfriend with another guy on the riverside. They were sitting with their common friends.”
“Are you joking? I don’t think that she would do that.” I asked him.
“I am just telling you what I saw. Now it’s up to you to believe or not.” He replied.
After hearing this, I couldn’t stay focused anymore in the class. I wanted to get out immediately. But somehow, I held my nerves and continued till the end. After returning home, I immediately tried to login into Pranshi’s Facebook account. But she had changed her password. I couldn’t believe that she had changed her password without even informing me. I had no idea what to do. After thinking for a while, I thought it would be wise to inform Disha about Pranshi’s activities. So, I texted Disha, “Your sister again cheated upon me. She was found sitting with another guy on the riverside.”
“Really! Are you sure?”, she asked.
“I don’t know. But the way she is treating me, I can guess that she must have hooked up with someone else.” I replied.
“Okay let her come today from college. I will ask her in the evening and call you.”, she said.
I hung up the phone. I took a deep breath and sat with closed eyes. Our memories of togetherness were constantly flashing in my mind. Her lovely talks and promises echoed in my ears. “Is this true? No, she can’t do this. She only loves me. She might have gone with her friends to the riverside to hang out.”, I tried to convince myself.
It was 6:30 P.M. My mom had served me some snacks, but I was not in the mood to eat.
“Why are you not eating? Are you okay?” My mom asked.
I looked at her and said, “Yes, I am fine. I am just thinking about my exam.”
“What’s there to think about? Just finish your snacks and go to study.” She said with a smile.
I thought in my mind, “I wish I could tell you the situation I am going through.”
Suddenly my phone rang, I immediately picked the phone expecting it to be Disha’s call. But it was one of my friends.
I was not in the mood to talk but I received the call.
“Hello!” I said.
“Chirag! Where are you? Immediately come to the nearby marketplace.” he replied in a hurry.
“Why? What happened?” I asked.
“We are standing here, and we saw Pranshi walking with a stranger. Come asap,” he said.
I immediately hung up the phone and rushed to the nearby market in desperation. When I reached there, I saw my friends standing with their bikes.
“Where is she?”, I asked.
“She walked down this road to home. We can catch them if we go near her home.” one of my friends said.
We rode through a different way and stopped near her home. Then I saw Pranshi walking with Sourav. When both noticed me and my friends, they immediately got conscious and behaved as if they did not know each other but standing near to each other. Then she made a false try to show as if nothing had happened. I stopped both of them.
Stay tuned to know what happened next…
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Stepping on The Wrong Path
After choosing different academic careers we could not spend much time together. I got busy with my studies, and she also got busy with hers.
We had passed with good grades so; our parents gifted us new smartphones. That helped me to stay connected to her without any disruption. We used to talk every day over calls and through long WhatsApp chats.
I got admitted was a private science college and made 4-5 friends in a few days, and they seemed pretty nice. We shared each other’s memories of school and how we ended up being admitted to that college.
SHE BECAME POSSESSIVE ABOUT ME
After my college hours, I used to rush home so that I could talk to Pranshi. She used to stay at home since her classes had not started yet. She always asked me about my day at college and I used to narrate everything.
“Is there any beautiful girl”, she asked.
“I don’t know, I don’t look at them”, I replied.
“Good boy. You can’t look at any other girl. I don’t permit you”, she said.
“Really! Do I need your permission to talk to a girl? Nobody can restrict me. You know”, I replied.
“Yes, I know. You never listen to me and neither you will. But don’t you dare to let any girl come closer to you”, she replied.
After having a sweet conversation like this for about half an hour, we hung up the call. There was a constant smile on my face. Because I had always wanted her to become possessive about me and I could sense that in her talks.
So, one day when our teacher was absent, my college friends started talking about each other’s love stories. Some of them had a one-sided love story that didn’t turn out successful and some had breakups. Till then, I had kept my relationship a secret. All of a sudden, they looked at me and asked, “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“Yes, I have one”, I replied.
“Show us her photo. We want to see her”, they insisted.
I showed them one photo of ours and they said, “Wow. Lovely couple. So, she would be our sister-in-law” they said with a teasing smile.
They all asked her name. “Her name is Pranshi”, I said. One of my friends, Piyush opened Facebook on his phone and immediately sent her a friend request.
“Now I will talk to her as well and inform her about your mischiefs,” said Piyush.
“Yeah, you can. I am not afraid of that.” I smiled and said.
After returning from college, I called up Pranshi & narrated the whole story of what happened in college. She started blushing that I and my friends had discussed about her. She talked to me very sweetly and I was on cloud nine.
I CAME INTO THE LIMELIGHT
Each week the college used to conduct a practice test to encourage us to work harder. I always had a fear of failure. So, I used to revise everything we were taught in college to remember them. In the beginning, I scored very good marks and came into the eyes of my teachers. I made the ambition to crack the entrance exam and study in the prestigious engineering college – IIT (Indian Institutes of Technology).
The director of our college came up to me and congratulated me for scoring good in those weekly tests.
“You are in the limelight now. I expect brilliant performances from you”, he said.
“Yes, sir. I will try my best.” I replied with a gentle smile.
After going back home I told this my parents. They were very happy. Then I called Pranshi, and she was also thrilled to hear this.
I STARTED FEELING INSECURE BUT I HAD AN ADVANTAGE
After a week Pranshi’s classes also began. But I became worried about her. She was in a college where I expected most of the boys must be flirtatious and mischievous. When I checked about that Institute – it showed a very bad reputation for spoiling the lives of girls. When my friends came to know this, they warned me.
My friends said, “You know what kind of boys study in that college? Pranshi is not that mature, and on contrary the guys may happen to be quite smart, she may get carried away by their cunning words and problems may happen.”
I had already seen such action from her so, I became started feeling insecure about my relationship.
But this time, I had one advantage i.e.: her elder sister, Disha was with me. She talked to me daily over WhatsApp. Soon she became very close to me like an elder sister. Whenever I and Pranshi would quarrel, she used to come between us and sort everything out. So, I had always believed that Disha would never let our relationship break.
Sometimes, in the evening Pranshi and Disha would come out by making excuses from their mom, and we used to hang out together. But one day her mother caught her talking to me over the phone. Her mother became furious and asked everything about me. Pranshi was silent and Disha came to her rescue.
“He is a nice guy. He is very good-looking and good at studies also. Pranshi is nothing in front of him. Why are you angry? Let them be together and we can get them married in the future”, She said to her mom and dad.
Their parents didn’t support her words, but they also didn’t oppose them. They were three sisters and Pranshi was the youngest. Pranshi’s eldest sister also knew about me, and she was happy to know about our relationship.
Later, Pranshi called me up and narrated the whole incident. When I came to know that our relationship was not a secret anymore to her parents, I felt a bit relaxed. Because I always had a fear that her parents would never let her talk to me when they will discover our relationship. I thought, “Now all her family members are aware of our relationship. Her two sisters are happy about it. So, I don’t need to worry about her.”
I LIT MY FIRST EVER CIGARETTE
It was already 2 months in my new college, everything was going pretty smoothly in my life. I was doing good in my studies and there was no hindrance in my relationship as well.
One Sunday, I and my friends decided to go to the nearby sea beach to hang out. I also got permission from my dad. I got very excited about the trip since I had never done such kind of a trip. One of my friends had brought a packet of cigarettes with him. When we reached there, he opened the packet and distributed it to everyone in the group except me. I had never smoked before but that day, out of excitement I asked him for one.
They got surprised to see me asking for a cigarette. “Really! are we dreaming or what? Chirag is asking for a cigarette.”
“Yeah, I also want to try this. I want to experience how it feels to smoke” I replied.
“So, you know how to smoke?” a friend asked.
“Yeah, just lit it and suck the smoke in,” I replied.
“Okay, try this” he gave me.
I lit up that cigarette but when I took in my first puff, it was unbearable for me. I immediately threw out the puff and coughed terribly. It was so hard that my eyes turned red.
One of my friends said, “Why are you doing this? You don’t need to smoke.”
Another one said, “Don’t worry. Everyone goes through this on their first attempt. Try once more.”
I looked at him and again took a small puff. This time I didn’t cough. I blew the smoke slowly from my mouth. I thought it was pretty cool. My friends laughed and clapped for fun.
“Now you have become a man”, one guy said.
I smoked the whole cigarette, and my brain became dizzy since I was not used to the nicotine. After having fun for a couple of hours, we returned home.
After reaching home I called up Pranshi.
“So, how was your hangout? Did you enjoy it?”, she asked.
“Yeah! A lot. We had a lot of fun. But I would love to go with you.” I said.
“Oh! Only God knows when it will happen” she replied.
After talking for some time, we hung up the call.
From that day, I smoked in regular intervals of a day or two with my friends. It became a new source of happiness for me. I kept my smoking a secret from her. One day Pranshi called me up and asked, “Why are you smoking cigarette?”
I was surprised to hear such a question from her.
“How did you know? Don’t talk nonsense. I don’t do such things.” I replied.
“Really! You think I don’t know what you are doing. My friend saw you smoking with your friends. You are also lying to me.” She replied.
I realized that she had found that out. So, I apologized to her and promised her not to do that again. She forgave me at that moment, but she couldn’t get that off her brain.
Oh no! why did i do that?
From that day, whenever she would start a conversation, she would ask, “How many cigarettes have you smoked today?”
I would say nothing and change the topic. But when she did that every day, I became very angry. I tried to control my anger but one day she crossed all limits of taunting. That hurt my ego and I yelled at her like a madman. I thought that she was putting me down by counting my mistakes again and again.
“Do you think you are a very good girl? I think you have forgotten what you did to me by ditching me for Rakesh. I haven’t smoked since the day I promised you. But you are taunting me continuously. You deserve a serious blast. I don’t want to talk to you.” I said in anger.
“Okay. Then do whatever you want to do.” She replied and I hung the call up in anger.
I was short-tempered. After 15 minutes I realized that I shouldn’t have said that. But I didn’t call her up to persuade. I was in my ego that I wouldn’t say sorry.
One hour passed. I checked her WhatsApp and Facebook status; she didn’t show up on either of them. I was feeling nervous and thought about whether I went too far.
After three hours, her number showed up on my screen. I felt a sense of relief.
I received the call and said, “Hmm. What happened?”
Her voice was fumbling, and she was crying like a little girl.
“Why did you talk to me like that? I just cared about your health. So, I taunted you. But the way you said, I felt like I have no character. Your words have hurt me a lot.” She said in a choked voice.
I realized what a great mistake it was. I immediately said sorry to her 10-15 times and apologized for my rude behavior. I had never seen her crying like that. I tried to pacify her with very kind and loving words. After apologizing and persuading her for about 20 minutes she finally stopped crying and became normal.
“Please don’t bring up my past actions. I feel terrible about that.”, she requested me.
“Yes, I promise. I won’t bring up this topic anymore”. I replied.
Although I apologized to her. But that one outburst had put an invisible crack in our relationship.
I was not aware of what was going to happen soon. This fight had sown the seed of anger and hatred in our relationship. And after two months something happened that I could never imagine.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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