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We Broke-up But I Was Happy
After coming back from Sumay-uncle’s house, I shared my experience with Pranshi. I also advised her to quit non-veg & she also showed some eagerness to do that. I used to ask her whether she heard the chants or not.
She would say ‘Yes’ & I would become very happy. But after some days, I reduced my hearing of the chants. Then slowly after a month I again started watching movies and listening to movie songs. In the meantime, my first-year results of intermediate were out. I had performed very poorly. My parents and teachers were unhappy, but I promised them to do well in the board exams.
I started taking my studies seriously. I purchased some reference books and started practicing solving problems. My second-year academics started, and I tried not to skip a single class. So, my attempt to become sincere in my studies used to drain out all my energy and time. I had very less time for Pranshi. But fortunately, she didn’t complain about that, and she also understood my situation. In my first year, I used to meet Pranshi twice a week. But in the second year, I could meet her once every two weeks. Sometimes I used to feel annoyed with my academic pressure. Two months passed and I had not spent some quality time with Pranshi.
SHE CAME TO MY HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME
So, one day while talking to her over the phone, she said, “You know it’s been a long time since we met. I want to see you.”
“Yes, I know. But what can I do? Your college time is different from mine. So, I have to bunk my classes to meet you.” I replied.
“No, no. Please focus on your studies. You don’t need to bunk your class to meet me.” She said.
“Let’s do one thing. Why don’t you come to my house? You can come with Disha. My parents are not conservative. They won’t raise any issues.” I said.
“Haw! No, No. I won’t dare to do that. I can’t come to your home.” she said.
“Why? What’s the problem? Okay, I will arrange this meeting.” I said and hung up the phone.
I texted her sister, Disha on WhatsApp and requested to come to my home. And fortunately, she agreed to come.
Then, I immediately started sorting my stuff. I had kept my room a bit messy. My mom saw it and asked me, “What are you doing?”
“Can’t you see? My room is so messed up with textbooks and broken pen caps. I am cleaning it and sorting them.” I replied.
It took an hour to clean everything. That day, my dad had gone out of town for some office work. So, it was like a cherry on top.
I asked my mom, “Hey mom! One of my school friends is coming to our home today in the evening. It’s been a long time since we met. So, do you have any problem if she comes?”
“No, what problem would I have?” she said and looked at me.
After a pause, she again said, “So, this is the reason why you were cleaning your room huh?”
I just laughed and went outside. In the evening Pranshi and Disha came together to my home. My mom served some snacks and had some chit-chat with them. After spending about an hour, they left. While I was seeing them off at our doorstep, Pranshi slowly said in my ears, “My heart is still beating very fast. I had never thought that I would come to your house ever.”
I just looked at her and smiled without saying anything. After she reached her home, she called me up and expressed her joy.
“You know, I am very happy today. For the very first time, I met your mom. She is so innocent and sweet. I liked your mom more than you.” she said.
“Oh! Why so?” I asked.
“Since you are very rude. You always talk to me rudely and without any feelings. But your mom is so sweet. She talked to me only for a little time but that was so nice.” she replied.
“Hmm… Yes, she is innocent. I am glad that you liked her.” I said.
“Okay, I am hanging up the phone now. I will go to college tomorrow, so I can’t talk till evening,” she said.
“Tomorrow is Sunday, right? What kind of college is that?” I asked.
“No, we have extra classes. Since we are lagging behind the course plan,” she said.
“Okay. I will enjoy my Sunday. You go and study.” I said and hung up the phone.
The next morning, she wished me good morning with a heart emoticon on WhatsApp.
I thought, “Wow, I think it was a good idea to invite her to our home. She is treating me so lovingly.”
her sister said, “she was faking”
Then I got busy with my studies and later on went to play cricket with my friends. Then in the evening, she called me up. But after talking to me for only five minutes she said, “I am getting an important call now. I will talk to you later.”
At first, I felt a bit weird. But then I ignored it. I waited for half an hour, but she didn’t call me. I tried calling her, but her phone was switched off.
“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” I became tense. Then I went outside to hang out with my friends. After two hours, Pranshi’s elder sister Disha called me up and said, “Please do not talk to Pranshi anymore.”
I was shocked to hear such words from her. I asked her, “Why?”
“Do you know that she is still talking to that Sourav? Moreover, she is even roaming around with him,” said Disha.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“I asked her friend who stays near our house. There were no extra classes today. Pranshi made an excuse that she had an extra class and went with Sourav to roam on his bike.” Disha said angrily.
“Hmm…So, this is what she has been doing behind my back. Wow!” I scoffed and said.
“She has broken your trust again. I am sorry to say. Please stay away from her. Your life will be spoiled if you stay with her. You are like my brother so; I am advising you.” said Disha.
When I heard all these things about Pranshi from her elder sister, I did not feel disappointed rather I just smiled.
After half an hour, I called up Pranshi and said, “What’s your problem? If you want to go, then why not forever? Why are you coming into my life and screwing things up? You are no better than a fox.”
She didn’t say anything but was in a state of shock. “Don’t call me ever again. I don’t want to see your face. Goodbye,” I said & hung up the phone.
I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Although I had broken off my relationship with Pranshi, this time I didn’t feel sad. I felt like a burden was released off my shoulders. I said to myself, “From now on, I will completely focus on my studies and live peacefully.”
I made a daily routine to stay more focused on my studies. After a month, our college declared a mini summer vacation of ten days. I also wanted to take a break from my studies.
AN INHIBITION WORTH REMEMBERING
So, I wanted to go to Swastik-uncle’s house. My father was not allowing me to go there and wanted me to stay at home. I was surprised at his behavior. He had never stopped me from going anywhere before that but this time he became terribly angry with me.
He said, “If you step out of my home, I will not talk to you ever again.”
I was frightened upon hearing such words from my dad. I went up to my mom and said, “What’s wrong with dad? I just want to chill out. I am working so hard, so what’s the problem if I take a break for a week?”
“I don’t know. You go and I will persuade him. Don’t worry.” My mom said.
At that time, I was unable to understand why my dad was reluctant. But I understood the reason after 5 years. That will be explained in the upcoming chapters.
Despite my father’s reluctance, I went to Swastik-uncle’s house. He was glad to see me, and we had a good time. My aunt prepared delicious foodstuffs and we enjoyed them together. The next day in the morning he said, “Get ready, we are going to meet someone special today.”
I became curious to meet him
I asked him, “Who is he?”. He replied, “A pure devotee and an exalted Vaishnava Guru“. I got excited after hearing his words. I kept on asking like a child, “Who is he? Where does he live?”. He smiled and said, “Get ready and we will meet him.”
I freshened up and got ready and sat inside the car. My uncle took me to a hospital. I was surprised at this and asked, “Why are we here? Is he sick or what?”.
“No, no, one of his disciples is admitted to this hospital and he has come here to see him”, my uncle replied.
I was waiting curiously to see him. I had never seen a Vaishnava Guru before that day. I started imagining him, his appearance, his personality, etc. Fifteen minutes passed and we were waiting outside the hospital entrance.
Then my uncle said, “When going in front of him, bow down before him. But don’t touch his feet.”
“Why? What’s wrong with touching the feet of a Vaishnava?” I asked.
“When you touch his feet, you transfer your sins to him, and he has to suffer for your sinful acts” he replied.
“Really! I didn’t know that” I said.
I was asking my uncle every 2-3 minutes, “When will Gurudeva come?”. He used to say, “Wait, he is coming. He is not an ordinary person. You should bear patience to meet such an exalted personality. Your whole life will be changed after seeing him. Let’s see how he interacts with you”, my uncle replied.
After 2 minutes the entrance door was opened and some devotees wearing white Dhoti and Kurta with shaven heads came out. They were wearing Tulsi beads on their necks and Tilak on their foreheads. My heart started beating faster. But I couldn’t recognize Gurudeva among them. Then something wonderful happened which I can never forget in my life.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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I Found a New World
a conversation that changed my perception
After the wisdom class, I and my uncle went to the living room. I asked him to say more about Srila Prabhupada. He said, “We address our spiritual master as Srila Prabhupada because he is the representative of Lord Krishna”.
“But I knew someone else as Srila Prabhupada,” I asked.
“Yes, we call him Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. He is the founder Acharya of ISKCON, and Srila Prabhupada is one of his disciples” Sumay-uncle said.
“What is his name?” I asked.
“His yoga name is Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa,” he said.
I started thinking, “So, who is greater?”
After a pause, he said on his own, “There is no difference between his teachings and his spiritual master’s teachings. Both represent Krishna and talk about the same philosophy. Like father and son. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada has left this world. Now, Srila Prabhupada is the representative of him, and Krishna. So, you should not be confused about his authority. He is a bonafide spiritual master who teaches Krishna Consciousness.”
“How did he know what was going on in my mind? That means he can read my mind. Maybe he has the same thought process as mine.” I kept thinking for a while.
Knowing about the spiritual relationship between Srila Prabhupada and Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada – was a bit heavy for me at that point of time. So, I just nodded my head. Then, he smiled and asked me, “What do you want to do in your life?”. I had no clue what to say. So, I just said that I wanted to earn a lot of money and live a luxurious life.
He laughed and said, “Yes that is all right. But this cannot be the goal of your life. Persons who are living such a lifestyle also have goals in their lives. So, what is your goal.”
“I have no goals. I don’t know how to choose a goal” I replied.
“Hmm, so this is a sign of danger,” he said.
“What is your goal in life?” I asked him.
“I want to do something which could benefit people spiritually,” he said.
I put my face down on a pillow and said, “Okay, I will think about my goal”. I used to think of myself as a very mature and good decision-maker. But when I sat in front of him, I started feeling very low about myself, as if I was a fool.
sumay-uncle asked about my girlfriend
Suddenly he asked me something which I had not even expected.
“Do you have any girlfriends?” he asked.
I thought for a while, “Should I tell him the truth?”
“Yes, I do have a girlfriend,” I replied.
Okay then show me her photo. I opened my gallery and showed him one photo of Pranshi.
“Oh! This girl looks such a dumbo.” He said.
“Huh? Dumbo?” I asked.He said, “It’s okay to have a girlfriend, but you should help each other to live a spiritual life. Having a girlfriend is not a license to enjoy her body. You must be concerned about her material as well as spiritual well-being.
“What do you mean by spiritual well-being?” I asked.
“Spiritual well-being means, helping other people to walk on the path of spirituality.” He replied.
“Is it about chanting on beads and doing Kirtan?” I asked him with curiosity.
“Yeah, you can say. But that is one part of spiritual life. What will I say to you now? You are a fool number one. You must walk on this path first, then you can help her. Otherwise, it will be like a blind leading another blind.” He said.
Although I didn’t like him criticizing me, but deep down inside, I knew that he was right. So, I replied, “Yes I will practice it. Please give me some chants to hear.”
“Okay, I will send you some chants,” he said.
I was looking down and he was gazing at me like he was reading what I was thinking in my mind. Suddenly my aunt came and said, “Let’s go downstairs. Dinner is ready.”
“Okay, let’s go,” said my uncle. While going downstairs my aunt was leading, Sumay-uncle was in the middle, and I was at last thinking about uncle’s words. Then my uncle turned around and said, “You are a lazy guy.” He laughed out loudly. I could understand he wanted to lighten my mood since the conversation was a bit heavy and I was quite young to grasp them.
We went downstairs and sat at the dining table. While having lunch, my grandma asked me, “So, are you having a good time?
“Yes, I am loving it” I replied and smiled.
“So, you should come once a month,” she said.
“No, you know my parents. They won’t allow me for that. I can come once every six months.” I said.
“No, don’t blame parents. If you have a strong desire to come here, they will allow you.” Sumay-uncle replied.
At that time, I couldn’t understand the depth of this statement. But I realized this after 7 years of this incident. I will narrate them in the upcoming chapters.
I had already stayed for 4 days at his place. My mom called me up and asked me to return home the next day. My father never liked our staying at any relative’s home for more than three days. The next day I packed my bags and took permission from my grandma and Sumay-uncle’s to leave.
“It would have been better if you had stayed for 2 more days. I am planning to go to Puri. But it’s your choice.” My uncle said.
“Wow, I would love to go there. But my parents are not happy with my long stay. So, I got to go.” I replied.
“Okay, it’s nice to have you here. Next time, do come for a longer period,” he said.
travelling & listening mantras, an amazing experience
It was time to say goodbye to all of them. I found that my uncle had already sent me some mantra chants on my phone. So, when I boarded the bus, I plugged in my earphones and started listening to them. It was an amazing experience. Before that, I used to hear Hindi Bollywood movie songs. But for the very first time in my life, I was hearing the sacred mantras while traveling. The chants were like modern Bhajans where many western musical instruments were played. Altogether the melody was enchanting, and I was getting immersed in them. A sense of excitement was running through my heart.
Suddenly, Pranshi’s face came into my mind. I thought, “I am enjoying these beautiful chants, I will also share them with Pranshi. She might like them as well.” Then Sumay-uncle’s words echoed in my mind regarding my relationship with Pranshi.
Then I mused, “I think Sumay-uncle is right. It’s been more than a year and I am still trying to make our relationship stronger. Sometimes she is getting angry with me, and sometimes someone else is captivating her mind. What will happen, if I share my experiences with her of what I learned from my uncle? Will she accept this, and we could make our relationship successful? I will talk to her and see her reaction.”
I reached home after 3 hours of the bus journey. After reaching home, I called up Pranshi to talk. She asked me about my small vacation at Sumay-uncle’s home. I shared some of my experiences with her.
i tried to convince her to adopt spiritual life
I said, “You know, I think we should begin our spiritual journey together.”
She asked surprisingly, “What? What do you mean by that?”
I was excited to share about my visit to Uncle’s house – I said, “I saw many spiritual activities happening throughout the day. It was very new to me, but it was exciting… I liked them. I also saw how my uncle and aunty are so happy living a spiritual life. They chant the sacred mantras together in the evening, they talk about spiritual philosophy, their spiritual identity, Krishna, and they teach their child the same. And I think this is the only thing that has bound them together with happiness.”
She said, “Oh! Really? Okay, so what shall I do then? You tell me.”
At that time, I was blank since I had no idea what to tell her.
After a pause, I said, “I am sending you a chant. You start hearing it. Then slowly we might walk together on the path.”She said, “Okay, send it, and I will hear.”
I sent her on WhatsApp. “Let me know how you liked it after you hear,” I said.
I thought I had done a very good job and there would be no hindrance in our relationship. But factually, I was in complete ignorance. I was asking her to do something which I was not doing myself. I behaved like a fanatic, but I was not even aware of it.
After two days, I asked her, “So, did you hear the chant?”
“Yes, I did. I also liked that” she said.
“Really! How many times did you hear that?” I asked.
“I heard it 3 times,” she said.
I took a pause. Then I said, “Do you know how many species there in this world are?”
“No, I don’t know,” she said.
“There are 8.4 million species in the world. And out of them, there are 400 thousand human species only.” I said.
“Wow! I didn’t know that” she exclaimed.
“Yes, and out of those 400 thousand types of human beings, those who are born in India are the most fortunate,” I said.
“How?”, She asked.
“Because we hear about Lord Krishna from the beginning of our birth. Our parents also take us to the temples. Many species of human beings stay in forests and roam naked, and they are not civilized. They hunt innocent animals and eat them. They don’t even know about God.” I said.
“Yes, that’s true,” she said.
“So, even after knowing all these things, will you continue to eat non-veg? I think you should stop eating non-veg. There is so much cruelty done to these innocent animals, and you are taking pleasure in eating them. If you want to live with me in the future, then you must abandon eating non-veg.” I said.
She became quiet. After some seconds, she replied, “Hmm… okay I will try”.
“Very good. I am glad that you appreciated my thoughts.” I said with joy.
I became very happy, that Pranshi agreed to live the way I wanted. But that was not true at all. She was doing something else behind my back which I discovered after a month and my love for her was completely demolished. I took a big decision by being carried away with that incident which later made my life worse.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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She Alleged Me in Front of Everyone.
I saw Pranshi and Sourav walking together. I stopped both of them. I was infuriated and my eyes had turned red in anger. Pranshi had already hurt my ego by ignoring me, and this time I caught her with another guy.
I questioned Her
Somehow, I controlled myself and asked Pranshi, “What is going on?”
“What? Nothing. I am coming home from college.” She arrogantly replied.
“Who is this guy walking with you?” I asked with raised eyebrows.
“He is my friend. He has come to drop me home.” She replied.
“Hmm, so you are walking home with this guy, and you didn’t even care to inform me,” I said.
“So, what? He is just my friend. It was getting dark so, he asked to accompany me.” She said.
“Today it was getting dark. But what about yesterday? You were hanging out with him on the riverside, yeah?” I asked strongly with a suspicious look on my face.
“Ah! Amm…What? Riverside? What are you saying?” She fumbled.
“You are a bloody idiot. You think I don’t know anything about what you are doing behind my back. Huh?” I yelled at her.
“Dd… did you go to the riverside that day?” She asked with fearfulness in her eyes.
“Shut up!” I said with bulging-reddened eyes.
“Please let me go now.” She said.
“You please go away from here. Please go away.” She requested Sourav.
I looked at Sourav and said, “Don’t you dare to move a step from here. Just stand there. I will teach you a lesson today so that you will never hanker after other’s girlfriend.”
Sourav started shaking with fear. One of my friends said, “Chirag! Just solve the matter with Pranshi. We will take care of this guy.” They caught him by his hands. He started crying and begging us to leave him.
“Hey! Don’t cry like an idiot. I will ask some questions and let you go.” I said.
Then I looked at Pranshi and said, “Shall I call Disha and show your reality?”
“No! No need to call her.” She said.
“I am calling her now. She will come here and see your praiseworthy act.” I said and called up Disha.
She received the call. “Please come to the street in front of your house. I have caught your sister with a guy.”
her mother saw me first time
She immediately came with her mother. After seeing Disha and her mom arriving on the spot my friends loosened their hold on Sourav and stayed behind me. Her mom walked up to Pranshi and then looked at me. She was seeing me for the very first time.
Then she asked Pranshi, “What’s going on?”
Then something happened that I could never even expect.
Pranshi immediately raised her fingers pointing toward me and said, “Ask this guy why he has stopped me and my friend.”
I was in a state of shock, after hearing such words from Pranshi. She was the same girl who used to lie to her mom and make excuses only to meet me. But then, she became a different person. She had so much hatred and anger against me that she forgot everything.
Upon hearing Pranshi’s allegations, her mom looked at me. I didn’t say a word but looked at her mom constantly without any guilt about what I had done.
There was an awkward silence on the spot. Then Disha broke the silence and shouted at Pranshi, “Why are you pointing fingers at him? He has told me everything. And you have no right to blame him. You are the main culprit.”
Pranshi said nothing but looked down. Her mom held her hands and took her home. Disha looked at me and said, “You please go home and take rest. Don’t stress yourself too much.”
i threatened sourav
In some time, Pranshi and her family left the place. But my friends were infuriated, and they wanted to thrash Sourav badly. But I controlled my anger and tried to sort everything out. I calmly asked him to explain everything about their secret relationship.
At first, he was hesitant and tried to escape with a false story.
“You want to go home or stand here all night? Do you see around yourself? I will say them once and they will thrash you like you might have never seen before. So, it’s better to tell me the truth. I promise you, that I will personally drop you home.” I assured him.
“Please forgive me. Please leave me. Pranshi is just my friend. I will never come this way again in my life.”, He pleaded.
“I am not interested in talking to you. But I want to know what happened between you and Pranshi. How did you guys come so close? Tell me now. Don’t waste my time.” I said.
finally! the truth came out
“Okay! I will explain now.” He said.
He took his phone out of his pocket and opened the Facebook messenger app. He scrolled his chats with Pranshi.
“Look! When you and Pranshi were not having a good time, she used to text me as a friend. I also like her. So, I tried to pacify her and evoke feelings in her heart for me. Then, one day she texted me that she wanted to be in a relationship with me.” Sourav explained.
“Really!” I exclaimed.
“Yes, but I asked Pranshi, “What about Chirag? Are you guys no longer together?”. And she replied, no we have broken up.” Sourav said.
“Hmm, okay! And when was that day?” I asked.
“It was yesterday. She talked to me about it in the morning. Then we decided to meet at the noon at the riverside. Our common friends brought her out of home, and we met there.” He said and he was already sweating, that too in a winter evening.
“Okay! You can sit on my bike. I will drop you home.” I said.
“No! I will walk home.” He said.
Then one of my friends said, “Chirag. Why are you letting this guy go? Just say once and we will thrash him. He won’t dare to eye someone else’s girlfriend ever again.”
Hearing my friend’s words, he began to cry again. And this time he pleaded with folded hands and knelt before me.
“Don’t do anything to him. It’s Pranshi’s mistake that she approached this guy. Had she not given him the opportunity he might not have done this. Leave him alone. You can go home now.” I said.
After seeing their conversation in Facebook, I was so enraged with Pranshi that I wanted to slap her hard. Then I returned home with a heavy mind and heart. I had never expected to be cheated like this. My friends tried to console me, but I was not ready to listen to anyone.
“I don’t understand what’s her problem. Is this what you get when you get into a relationship? Her commitment to staying loyal had no value. How could she do this?” I said to one of my friends.
“What can I say? She is not a trustworthy girl at all. Just leave her and focus on your studies. You are just 17 and you should focus on your career rather than wasting your time on a stupid girl.” said Piyush.
“Yeah, that’s true. But it’s very difficult for me to leave her.” I said.
“Hmm, I know it’s not easy. Okay, you try to stay calm,” he said.
her sister texted me
It was around 10 P.M. Disha texted me on WhatsApp, “Are you okay? Have you had your dinner?”
“No, I don’t want to eat anything. I can’t digest the fact that I was cheated by Pranshi one more time,” I replied.
“Although she is my little sister. But I don’t want to talk to her. I had never expected her to be like that.” She replied.
I just saw her text and turned my screen off. After a while, she again texted, “Don’t worry. You are like my younger brother, and I will always be in touch with you.”
“Today, when she alleged me in front of your mom, I was a little afraid. But you took my side. Thank you so much.” I said.
“I took your side because you were right. Okay, you sleep, and we will talk tomorrow,” she said.
I opened my gallery. I saw some photos of me and Pranshi. Then I deleted all her photos from my phone. I kept my phone beside me and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
Suddenly my phone vibrated. When I unlocked my phone, I saw a text from Pranshi.
Why did she text me after all these events?
Stay tuned to know what she said…
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Stepping on The Wrong Path
After choosing different academic careers we could not spend much time together. I got busy with my studies, and she also got busy with hers.
We had passed with good grades so; our parents gifted us new smartphones. That helped me to stay connected to her without any disruption. We used to talk every day over calls and through long WhatsApp chats.
I got admitted was a private science college and made 4-5 friends in a few days, and they seemed pretty nice. We shared each other’s memories of school and how we ended up being admitted to that college.
SHE BECAME POSSESSIVE ABOUT ME
After my college hours, I used to rush home so that I could talk to Pranshi. She used to stay at home since her classes had not started yet. She always asked me about my day at college and I used to narrate everything.
“Is there any beautiful girl”, she asked.
“I don’t know, I don’t look at them”, I replied.
“Good boy. You can’t look at any other girl. I don’t permit you”, she said.
“Really! Do I need your permission to talk to a girl? Nobody can restrict me. You know”, I replied.
“Yes, I know. You never listen to me and neither you will. But don’t you dare to let any girl come closer to you”, she replied.
After having a sweet conversation like this for about half an hour, we hung up the call. There was a constant smile on my face. Because I had always wanted her to become possessive about me and I could sense that in her talks.
So, one day when our teacher was absent, my college friends started talking about each other’s love stories. Some of them had a one-sided love story that didn’t turn out successful and some had breakups. Till then, I had kept my relationship a secret. All of a sudden, they looked at me and asked, “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“Yes, I have one”, I replied.
“Show us her photo. We want to see her”, they insisted.
I showed them one photo of ours and they said, “Wow. Lovely couple. So, she would be our sister-in-law” they said with a teasing smile.
They all asked her name. “Her name is Pranshi”, I said. One of my friends, Piyush opened Facebook on his phone and immediately sent her a friend request.
“Now I will talk to her as well and inform her about your mischiefs,” said Piyush.
“Yeah, you can. I am not afraid of that.” I smiled and said.
After returning from college, I called up Pranshi & narrated the whole story of what happened in college. She started blushing that I and my friends had discussed about her. She talked to me very sweetly and I was on cloud nine.
I CAME INTO THE LIMELIGHT
Each week the college used to conduct a practice test to encourage us to work harder. I always had a fear of failure. So, I used to revise everything we were taught in college to remember them. In the beginning, I scored very good marks and came into the eyes of my teachers. I made the ambition to crack the entrance exam and study in the prestigious engineering college – IIT (Indian Institutes of Technology).
The director of our college came up to me and congratulated me for scoring good in those weekly tests.
“You are in the limelight now. I expect brilliant performances from you”, he said.
“Yes, sir. I will try my best.” I replied with a gentle smile.
After going back home I told this my parents. They were very happy. Then I called Pranshi, and she was also thrilled to hear this.
I STARTED FEELING INSECURE BUT I HAD AN ADVANTAGE
After a week Pranshi’s classes also began. But I became worried about her. She was in a college where I expected most of the boys must be flirtatious and mischievous. When I checked about that Insititute – it showed a very bad reputation for spoiling the lives of girls. When my friends came to know this, they warned me.
My friends said, “You know what kind of boys study in that college? Pranshi is not that mature, and on contrary the guys may happen to be quite smart, she may get carried away by their cunning words and problems may happen.”
I had already seen such action from her so, I became started feeling insecure about my relationship.
But this time, I had one advantage i.e.: her elder sister, Disha was with me. She talked to me daily over WhatsApp. Soon she became very close to me like an elder sister. Whenever I and Pranshi would quarrel, she used to come between us and sort everything out. So, I had always believed that Disha would never let our relationship break.
Sometimes, in the evening Pranshi and Disha would come out by making excuses from their mom, and we used to hang out together. But one day her mother caught her talking to me over the phone. Her mother became furious and asked everything about me. Pranshi was silent and Disha came to her rescue.
“He is a nice guy. He is very good-looking and good at studies also. Pranshi is nothing in front of him. Why are you angry? Let them be together and we can get them married in the future”, She said to her mom and dad.
Their parents didn’t support her words, but they also didn’t oppose them. They were three sisters and Pranshi was the youngest. Pranshi’s eldest sister also knew about me, and she was happy to know about our relationship.
Later, Pranshi called me up and narrated the whole incident. When I came to know that our relationship was not a secret anymore to her parents, I felt a bit relaxed. Because I always had a fear that her parents would never let her talk to me when they will discover our relationship. I thought, “Now all her family members are aware of our relationship. Her two sisters are happy about it. So, I don’t need to worry about her.”
I LIT MY FIRST EVER CIGARETTE
It was already 2 months in my new college, everything was going pretty smoothly in my life. I was doing good in my studies and there was no hindrance in my relationship as well.
One Sunday, I and my friends decided to go to the nearby sea beach to hang out. I also got permission from my dad. I got very excited about the trip since I had never done such kind of a trip. One of my friends had brought a packet of cigarettes with him. When we reached there, he opened the packet and distributed it to everyone in the group except me. I had never smoked before but that day, out of excitement I asked him for one.
They got surprised to see me asking for a cigarette. “Really! are we dreaming or what? Chirag is asking for a cigarette.”
“Yeah, I also want to try this. I want to experience how it feels to smoke” I replied.
“So, you know how to smoke?” a friend asked.
“Yeah, just lit it and suck the smoke in,” I replied.
“Okay, try this” he gave me.
I lit up that cigarette but when I took in my first puff, it was unbearable for me. I immediately threw out the puff and coughed terribly. It was so hard that my eyes turned red.
One of my friends said, “Why are you doing this? You don’t need to smoke.”
Another one said, “Don’t worry. Everyone goes through this on their first attempt. Try once more.”
I looked at him and again took a small puff. This time I didn’t cough. I blew the smoke slowly from my mouth. I thought it was pretty cool. My friends laughed and clapped for fun.
“Now you have become a man”, one guy said.
I smoked the whole cigarette, and my brain became dizzy since I was not used to the nicotine. After having fun for a couple of hours, we returned home.
After reaching home I called up Pranshi.
“So, how was your hangout? Did you enjoy it?”, she asked.
“Yeah! A lot. We had a lot of fun. But I would love to go with you.” I said.
“Oh! Only God knows when it will happen” she replied.
After talking for some time, we hung up the call.
From that day, I smoked in regular intervals of a day or two with my friends. It became a new source of happiness for me. I kept my smoking a secret from her. One day Pranshi called me up and asked, “Why are you smoking cigarette?”
I was surprised to hear such a question from her.
“How did you know? Don’t talk nonsense. I don’t do such things.” I replied.
“Really! You think I don’t know what you are doing. My friend saw you smoking with your friends. You are also lying to me.” She replied.
I realized that she had found that out. So, I apologized to her and promised her not to do that again. She forgave me at that moment, but she couldn’t get that off her brain.
Oh no! why did i do that?
From that day, whenever she would start a conversation, she would ask, “How many cigarettes have you smoked today?”
I would say nothing and change the topic. But when she did that every day, I became very angry. I tried to control my anger but one day she crossed all limits of taunting. That hurt my ego and I yelled at her like a madman. I thought that she was putting me down by counting my mistakes again and again.
“Do you think you are a very good girl? I think you have forgotten what you did to me by ditching me for Rakesh. I haven’t smoked since the day I promised you. But you are taunting me continuously. You deserve a serious blast. I don’t want to talk to you.” I said in anger.
“Okay. Then do whatever you want to do.” She replied and I hung the call up in anger.
I was short-tempered. After 15 minutes I realized that I shouldn’t have said that. But I didn’t call her up to persuade. I was in my ego that I wouldn’t say sorry.
One hour passed. I checked her WhatsApp and Facebook status; she didn’t show up on either of them. I was feeling nervous and thought about whether I went too far.
After three hours, her number showed up on my screen. I felt a sense of relief.
I received the call and said, “Hmm. What happened?”
Her voice was fumbling, and she was crying like a little girl.
“Why did you talk to me like that? I just cared about your health. So, I taunted you. But the way you said, I felt like I have no character. Your words have hurt me a lot.” She said in a choked voice.
I realized what a great mistake it was. I immediately said sorry to her 10-15 times and apologized for my rude behavior. I had never seen her crying like that. I tried to pacify her with very kind and loving words. After apologizing and persuading her for about 20 minutes she finally stopped crying and became normal.
“Please don’t bring up my past actions. I feel terrible about that.”, she requested me.
“Yes, I promise. I won’t bring up this topic anymore”. I replied.
Although I apologized to her. But that one outburst had put an invisible crack in our relationship.
I was not aware of what was going to happen soon. This fight had sown the seed of anger and hatred in our relationship. And after two months something happened that I could never imagine.
Stay tuned to know what happened…
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She Started Talking to Me Again!
Pranshi called me after the first paper of our board exams. When I saw her name appear on my mobile screen, I was puzzled. After thinking for a while, I received her call.
“Hello, what’s up?” she asked.
“Hmm… good,” I replied.
“How was your paper?” she asked.
“Yes, it was good,” I said.
“Hmm… you are a talented student. But mine was not good. I do not know what I will do in the next paper.” She spoke.
“Study and perform better,” I said.
Suddenly, I realized it was not her voice.
“Who are you? I think it’s not Pranshi.” I asked.
“Hehe, I am her elder sister. I have called you to request you something. Please help her whenever you get a chance in the hall. She is not as good at studies as you are.” her elder sister said.
“Okay, could you please give her the phone?” I asked.
She came over the phone after being told to by her sister.
“Hello!” she said.
“If you have any problem, you can ask me in the exam hall. No need to involve your sister in it.” I hung up the call.
I WAS CONFUSED YET HAPPY
The next day she called me again and asked about my preparations. I was not able to understand what had happened to her. On exam day, she needed the answers, but she was having an internal conflict about whether to approach me or not. But somehow, she decided and called me softly – “Chirag !!”.
I was happy inside when I heard my name from her after a long time. But that did not diminish my curiosity to know about her previous confusing behavior. In the meantime, the final bell rang, and we submitted our answer sheets… And my paper went well. It was a mixed feeling with two things happening at the same time – exam went well and Pranshi has started talking… After leaving the exam hall, I asked her, “So, what’s up?”.
“Nothing.” She said.
“Why are you doing this? You said that you did not love me, right!” I asked.
“I was furious at that moment, so I said this. My elder sister came to know about our relationship, and she was glad that I have chosen you.” She said.
“Really! What did she say?” I asked.
“She said that you are a nice guy, and we can stay in a relationship,” Pranshi replied.
Meanwhile, her elder sister came to take her back home. I was about to leave for home, and suddenly Pranshi called me from behind.
I turned back and saw her sister looking at me. They waved their hands at me and beckoned me to go near them.
That was the very first time when I met her sister. Her sister said, “Please help her in exams. She is not as good as you in studies.”
“Yeah! I will try. Don’t worry.” I replied. Then we went back home.
Gradually my anger for her reduced as the days passed. I was still confused about whether she wanted to be with me.
So, in each paper, I tried to pass her the answers as much as possible and this went for a while and I was still confused what will be the outcome, and continuously I was thinking whether it is right or wrong, but I was subtly enjoying these.
HER DUPLICITY GOT REVEALED
Finally, our exam was finished. She called me in the evening, and we talked for a while – may be around ten minutes. I was happy and relaxed. I didn’t realize – that I was going through all these during one of the most crucial phases of my career. There was no more study pressure on me. I was planning to take a break and visit some of my relatives.
Suddenly, my friend, who had informed me about Pranshi’s valentine’s day guy, called me. He said, “I am coming to your home with him.”
“With whom?” I asked.
“Pranshi’s ex-boyfriend,” he replied.
“Okay! You can come”, I said.
It was around 7 pm, both came to my home. I knew that guy before, – his name was Rakesh and I stared at him with annoyance. But it was ok to meet him, and I was looking at my friend what he was up to?
Rakesh started – “Hey! I am not your enemy. The same girl betrayed us both. She is playing with both of us.” He said.
“What? She has been calling me from the very first day of our exam.” I said.
“She is doing the same with me as well.” He said and took his cell phone out of his pocket.
“Look! Whose number is this?” He said and scrolled his call log in front of me.
“Oh, man! What is this? It’s too much now.” I said furiously.
I immediately called Pranshi, but she did not receive the call. Then I called her sister. She received the ring and asked what had happened.
I told her everything briefly, and she was shocked to hear such things about Pranshi. She promised to resolve everything and hung up the call.
DESPERATION TOOK ME FOR A RIDE
I was in great despair. My friends came to know about this. They had arranged a party since our exam was over. They requested me to join… so, I joined them in the hope to get some respite. They had also brought some beer with them. I saw the drinks and beer bottle for the first time. Some of my so-called close friends convinced me to try them. At first, I was hesitant. Then someone in the group said, “This will take your worries away, and you will feel lighter.”
I said, “Okay, I will try.” I had no idea about its taste. After taking one sip, I learned that it was horrible.
“How are you guys drinking this shit? It’s so bad.” I asked.
“It’s not about the taste, bro. It’s about the hangover after drinking the whole bottle.” He replied.
I drank the whole bottle with incredible difficulty in the hope that it will wash away my dilemmas. I didn’t know what was going to happen. But my mood got changed. I became silent and started observing everything around me. We ate a lot of food that my friends brought over… we had fun, jokes, leg pulling, and loud music – all was well set for a post-exam celebration. It was a good time spent, but the words of Rakesh were still disturbing me. After some time, Pranshi called me.
APOLOGIES SEEMED TRUE TO ME
She was very sorry for her behavior. She apologized for betraying me and talking to Rakesh.
Since I was drunk, I couldn’t speak properly. She requested to meet her and sort everything out. So, I told her to meet me the next day morning.
After I hung up the call, my friends asked me about my conversation with Pranshi. I told them everything. One of them said, “These girls are difficult to understand. They say one thing and do something else. My girlfriend also did that so, I broke up with her.”
All of them were drunk and they started giving me many suggestions. Someone said, “Leave this girl. She will again cheat on you.” Another guy said, “No, don’t do that. You love her so much.” I said nothing but listened to their suggestions and advice.
I was looking for my first hangover, and it stayed for a very short time. Our party got over and we slept together. I had set my alarm so that I wouldn’t be late to meet her.
The next day I woke up early in the morning even before my alarm rang. I went to the meeting place. She came alone and stood in front of me. I looked into her eyes, and I saw her gloomy eyes.
Then I asked her, “Do you still want this relationship?” She said something promising.
Stay tuned to know what she said…
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Heart Break – She Didn’t Love Me
I learned that Pranshi was roaming around with her previous boyfriend from one of our common friends. So, I was enraged with her for this kind of behavior. I could not behold the pain and went to ask her the reason behind that. At first, she remained silent.
Then suddenly she looked into my eyes and said,
“I love only myself. I love neither you nor him. Whatever I did, it was my choice.”I was taken aback and thought for a moment. “A week ago, she used to hang out with me. So many times, she said that she loved me. But what is going on now? This can’t be true. I know she is joking.”
I just gazed at her face and couldn’t say anything. Suddenly one of her friends said, “Pranshi, let’s go home. We are getting late.”
I closed my eyes for a second and gasped. “Alright, thank you very much for this. I shall always be grateful to you,” I said. I turned my face off and proceeded towards my home.
I was walking home with a heavy heart and moistened eyes. I felt like everything has stopped in my world. This was the very first time when I was undergoing such a disheartening experience. I just sat outside my house and suddenly one of my friends kept his hand on my shoulder.
“What happened? Why are you sad?” He asked.
“The good news is, Pranshi doesn’t love me. She was just playing around with my feelings.” I replied sarcastically.
“Why? What happened?” He asked.
Then I narrated the whole story to him and sat down with closed eyes.
“Now what? Don’t sit like a fool. Just move on and focus on your studies. You have exams”, He said.
A drop of tear rolled on my cheek, and I didn’t wipe it. My friend saw me like this for the very first time.
“Chirag! Seriously? You are crying for a characterless girl. This is not you.” He said angrily.
“No, I am not crying for her. But the pain inside my heart is intense. I am cheated on by a girl. What could be more humiliating than this? She played with my emotions, and I thought that she loved me. You know right? How many times have I talked about her in front of you.”, I said.
“But what did she do? In front of all her friends, she said that she didn’t love me. I am a fool number one. I should have understood that before.” I started blabbering.
“Just shut up! You are just a schoolboy. Many girls will come and go. But why are you crying for her?” He asked.
“Because she is the only girl who I have loved. I don’t care about other girls.” I replied.
I sat for an hour and thought, “What could be the reason for such a sudden change? I loved her like anything. Why did she do this?” Of course, I did not get my answer, but I wanted to know.
It was 15th of February and only after 9 days our board exams were starting. The next day, some of my other close friends came to me and asked me about Pranshi. I explained the whole story.
“What are you saying? How could she do this to you? You were so happy with her. But why did she change suddenly?” he got angry and asked.
“I wish I could know that”, I replied.
“Do not worry, brother. Many girls will fall for you. Just forget her. You deserve better.” they tried to console me.
I said, “Enough of this drama. I will focus on my exam. She is not more important than my career. I am not so weak that I would sit and cry like a coward.”
“Yes, bro. You do not need to waste your time on her anymore. Please focus on your career and stay happy.” They said.
After they went back home, I opened my books to start my preparations. But as soon as I opened the book, my memories of her started flashing one by one.
It was difficult for me to forget her. But somehow, I focused on my studies. I went to attend the coaching class and interacted with my friends. After a couple of days, I started feeling better and everything became normal.
25th FEBRUARY 2014 – THE EXAM DAY
Finally, the day of my board exam appeared. I met some of my close friends and we had some chit chat. Most of us were a bit nervous. While I was talking to one of my dearest classmates who was sitting right behind me, I saw Pranshi coming and she sat just beside my table. I was seeing her after 7 days of our breakup. I thought, “She looks so simple and innocent. How can I not love her?”. Then suddenly someone from inside of me said, “Don’t fall for that innocence again like a stupid. Focus on your paper.”
I turned my face off her and looked at the invigilator. The invigilator distributed the question papers. After seeing the question paper my nervousness went down. I started writing the paper and after an hour I unintentionally looked at Pranshi. She was looking at me like she wanted to ask something. But I knew what was important at that moment. I immediately turned my face and continued writing my paper.
After two and a half hours the invigilator took our papers, and we left the hall.
I saw Pranshi walking off the school gate to her mom who was waiting for her. I left for my home with some mixed feeling of happiness and sorrow.In the evening my friends came to my home, and we discussed about each other’s paper. One of them asked me whether or not I saw Pranshi in the exam hall.
“Hmmm… I saw her. She was sitting just right beside my table.” I said.
“How was she looking? Was she happy or sad? Did u find any guilt on her face?” A friend asked.
“No! Why would she feel guilt. She is very happy with that idiot. Let’s not talk about that girl anymore.” I replied annoyingly.
Then my dad returned from his office and with a smile asked, “So, how was your exam son?
“Yeah! It’s pretty good. I was a bit nervous in the beginning but after seeing the questions I was relaxed.” I replied.
“Hmm… Nice. No need to get nervous.” My dad replied.
Suddenly my phone rang. I presumed it to be one of my friends.
But it was Pranshi. My heartbeat went up. I got confused whether or not should I pick the call.
Then I picked her call and with a grave voice I said, “Hmm…”.
But when she started speaking my anger for her diminished.
Stay tuned to know about our conversation…
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Fragile Love: She Broke My Trust
I was waiting for Pranshi’s response after expressing my feelings to her. The next day when I entered the class, in curiosity to know her response, she was sitting with her best friend and discussing something. Then they both saw me. Her friend stood up and started walking toward me. I was feeling annoyed and thought, “She had promised me that she would not disclose this matter to anyone. Still, she discussed this with her friend. Oh, these girls cannot keep any secret.” Her friend was standing in front of me with a teasing smile.
“Pranshi told me everything about your yesterday’s scene,” she said.
“Hmm, so what do you want?” I replied.
“She is a bit confused about you. Whether you will stay with her or leave her.” Her friend said.
“I told everything to her and of course, I will stay with her. Otherwise, why would I ask her?” I replied with raised eyebrows.
“Actually, these are my words. She didn’t say that. Congrats! She has accepted your proposal.” She smiled and spoke.
After hearing this, I looked at Pranshi, and she was smiling with shyness. I became thrilled. I immediately wanted to go to her and talk. But then, our teacher entered, and we settled to our respective seats. When that class was over, I asked her to meet me at the same place after school. But she said that she would only come with her friend.
I agreed and waited for her at the same place. We were standing face to face. I asked her to give a proper reply to my proposal.
“Vini has already told you, didn’t she?” she said.
“I did not ask her. I have proposed to you. So, you must reply to me on my face.” I gave an intense look to her.
She smiled and said, “Yes, I love you.”
MY LOVE LIFE STARTED
After getting her answer, I was on cloud nine. Then we exchanged our phone numbers. Our relationship was on the track. Three months later, we became very comfortable with each other. My attraction for her went deeper and deeper with the passing of days. I used to rush near her coaching center in the evening and wait for her so that we could hang out with each other.
I was in class ten so; our school used to conduct a lot of practice exams before appearing for the final exam called board exam (class 10). This board exam is considered very crucial in our society. If someone does not perform well in this exam, then it is said that their life will be at a great stake. In the initial days, I used to score good in the practice tests and my teachers had a great expectation from me. But gradually, with increasing of my love for Pranshi, my scores went down. Still, I was not worried about it at all, but my teachers were very concerned. I had high self-confidence that I would do better in the final exams.
Our board exams were near, and the school gave us two weeks of vacation to prepare for the exams. Pranshi did not have a personal cell phone, so she used her mom’s cell phone. It was the seventh of February, known as Rose-day. I was sleeping and, in the morning, my phone ranged. It was her number and when I received the call; I heard someone else’s voice. It was Vini on the other side. They pranked me and pulled my legs for sleeping so late. I felt happiness for the entire day because of her one call in the morning. The next day I expected the same from her, but I was disappointed. My entire day had passed by waiting for her – one phone call. Three days passed. Despite that, I did not get a phone call from her. I became very anxious. Our board exam was round the corner, but my mind was hovering on Pranshi’s phone call.
MY FIRST VALENTINE’S DAY – IT WAS WORTH FORGETTING
It was 14th of February, known as Valentine’s Day.
“Today she will call. It is our first Valentine’s Day. She might ask me to meet her. What shall I wear?” I was saying this to myself in my mind and whenever my phone would ring, I would expect Pranshi’s name to appear on my phone screen.
For the very first time in my life, I was very happy and waiting for a girl’s call on Valentine’s Day. But she did not call me. This curiosity turned into restlessness and then anger. I was becoming worried about her and wanted to know if she was okay. I was gazing at my phone desperately just to get one call from her, but things were quite opposite to my expectations. I thought to call one of our common friends to know what had happened with her. I called and narrated the whole thing to him in desperation. He tried to pacify me and said that he would check and inform me about her.
My first Valentine’s Day passed but my story did not change. The next day my friend called me up and told me something which I could not even imagine.HOW COULD SHE DO THIS?
“You know why Pranshi is not calling you?” He said.
“No, I do not know. What happened to her?” I replied.
“She has cheated on you” He said.
“She has gone back to her previous boyfriend. She played a game with you” My friend told me in anger.
“How did you know?” I replied in a choked voice, trying to hold my nerves.
“Because her boyfriend is my friend, and he told me about this.” He spoke.
“Hmmm… Alright, I got my punishment to love someone madly. I should have focused on my studies. But I was hankering after her like a dog. And finally, she ditched me. Alright, Thank You for the information.” I hung up the call.
I wanted to shout and cry, but I was pretty good at holding back my emotions. So, I went out of my home to walk on the nearby playground. I wanted to share that intense pain of my heart with someone, but nobody was there with me. Then I went to her coaching center in the evening to ask her the reason for treating me like this. I stopped her on her way. Her friends were standing with her. I stared at her face with moistened red eyes. I was about to cry, but I did not want to look like a fool in front of her friends. So, I held my emotions.
“Why did you do this to me? What mistake did I do? If I were just a time pass for you, you could have said this. I would not have become mad after you.” I told.
She remained silent.
I became angry and shouted at her.
“Can’t you say anything? I am asking you something. I am not an idiot who is yelling at you in the public. Tell me!”, I said.
Then she responded with some cruel words. Her words were like sharpened arrows that pierced through my heart.
Stay tuned to know what she said to me…