I returned home from college, and my health wasn’t good. My parents noticed and were worried about both my physical and mental well-being. I was stressed, and it seemed like I was heading towards depression. A friend came over and invited me to the beach, hoping to cheer me up. I agreed but wasn’t in a good mood, and my friend could notice that. Sometimes, I went with my associate to different places, but the frustration and loneliness lingered.

Call from grandma:

After two weeks, nothing had improved. Then my grandma (Sumay-uncle’s mom) called me and asked where I was. I told her I was at home. She scolded me, saying, “Last time you didn’t visit, I was waiting for you. Now, you’re still at home and not coming to our place. What’s going on? Please don’t come to my house anymore. I don’t want to see you.”

After hearing her, I could sense that I should go to her place and spend some time with them. I called my uplines and told them I was taking a five-day break to be with relatives. I asked them not to disturb me during this time. Quickly packing my bags, I boarded a bus and reached their home in the evening. When I entered the drawing room, my grandma spotted me and jokingly shouted, “Get out of my house. I don’t want you here. Why have you come?” Unable to suppress my smile, I immediately hugged her.

Observing me, she commented, “What have you done to your body? Look at yourself. Where is your glowing face? Are you not caring about your health?”

Soon after, my aunt (Sumay-uncle’s wife) arrived, smiling and remarking, “You’ve come after a long time.”

I nodded and respectfully touched her feet. She asked about my well-being. After a brief conversation, I wondered about Sumay-uncle and learned he was in the evening chant. I entered the area from a distance and witnessed him standing in front of the Altar room, clapping his hands and chanting the Holy Names loudly. As I went near him, he saw me and immediately embraced me. I felt thrilled to see him after such a long time. The kirtan got wind up, and he spent some time with me.

“So, what’s going on? Your condition seems very pathetic. You are suffering, mate.” said Sumay-uncle and smiled.

“Yeah, that’s true. But hopefully, I will get over soon.” I replied.

My aunt gave me snacks to eat, and we discussed many things. Then, at night, after having dinner, I went to sleep.

Spiritual Guidance from Sumay-uncle:

The following day, after breakfast, while sitting with my uncle and grandma, they inquired about my activities. I began explaining my involvement in network marketing. Upon hearing this, my uncle expressed his concern: “You are a student now. Why waste your time on these things? Concentrate solely on your studies.”

Grandma added, “Look at yourself. You’ve lost your glow, and you seem depressed with dark circles. Is it all because of network marketing? If it is, quit immediately and live like a normal student.” I remained silent without responding. My uncle continued, “This is complete madness. Can you see your future in it?”

I replied, “Yes, a person named Mudit Sinha (name changed) in our organization earns over one crore yearly, and many others also earn a lot.”

“Alright, but do you possess those traits? How many Mudit Sinhas are there in your organization? Only one. And that too among two million people. Do you have any chance to become one of them?” he questioned.

I fell silent. After a moment, I responded, “What’s the benefit of having a job? I can’t lead a luxurious life with a job. I’ll be stuck in a middle-class life forever, and I don’t want that.”

“That’s understandable. But why have you chosen network marketing as your path to success? You could learn more about technology and find solutions to help people – that’s what an entrepreneur does. Instead, you’re meeting people, discussing all sorts of things, and trying to influence them to join you just for money. Isn’t that absurd? There’s so much happening in the world of technology, especially since you’re studying Computer Science. You should be aware of these things.” said Sumay-uncle.

His words made me reflect. “Alright, you go to your room and study some scriptures. I am going to work now,” he said as he headed off.

I looked for some scriptures on the shelf and found the thinnest book, “Perfect Questions, Perfect Answers,” by A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. This book captures a conversation between Bob Cohen and Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, in which Bob asks questions about life, its purpose, and identity. Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada responds beautifully to all his questions in a practical manner.

As I read the first chapter of the book, I found it intriguing. Later, I went to the terrace to bask in the sun since it was winter. There, I noticed my uncle sitting on the terrace. I approached him and asked, “Why do you believe that network marketing is a dreadful thing to do?”

He smiled and responded, “Look, if someone works in your team, they become your responsibility. What if they start misusing the money by indulging in drugs or alcohol? Then you’ll have to deal with the consequences.”

“Really? Why me? I didn’t ask them to smoke or drink. I showed them a way to earn money. If they misuse it, how can I be held responsible? You are also running a business. What if an employee of your company engages in these undesirable habits?” I questioned.

“I compensate them for the services they render to me. However, in your scenario, you don’t pay them; rather, you collect funds from individuals and redistribute them among your team. Consequently, you share equal responsibility for any hardships that may befall your teammates” he explained.

“I see. So, what should I do now?” I asked.

“Why didn’t you ask me before starting this?” he inquired.

“I did ask you, but you didn’t respond,” I replied.

“You are an idiot. Instead of asking, you just informed me. If you had asked, I would have rejected this proposal,” he pointed out.

“So, what should I do now? Please tell me,” I asked him.

“Just read that book you took out and chant. Then God will help you make the right decision,” he said.

A sudden conflict arose with a childhood friend:

I went inside my room and resumed reading the book. Suddenly, my phone rang my childhood best friend’s number. I answered, and she immediately asked, “Are you busy now?”

“No, what happened?” I inquired.

“You are a duplicitous guy. You are saying behind my back that I am dating many boys at a time. I have a very loose character. But you are behaving nicely before me,” she growled.

I got confused as I had no idea what she was talking about. I tried to convince her I had not done anything like that, but she was not ready to listen. I then hung up the call. I was already suffering due to my choice of getting into network marketing, and then my best friend accused me of backbiting. I wasn’t sure of what was going on.

I went to Puri reluctantly:

The next day, in the afternoon, my uncle, aunt, and their friends decided to go to Puri. But it was my last vacation day. My uncle asked me to join them, but I hesitated. “Why are you not coming? You should come, man. This will help you a lot,” said my uncle.

“No! I have a lot of work to do. How can I go with you? My associates are waiting for me.” I replied.

My grandma scolded me again, saying, “People don’t even get an opportunity to visit Puri. You have come here after such a long time, and now you are refusing to go. Just go and stop thinking about your so-called work.”

Then, I decided to join them on their journey. I remained silent during the entire trip since I was very disturbed. We reached there in the evening and stayed in a hotel. The next day, we went near the Gundicha temple. We stood outside the temple and waited for some people to come. After a few minutes, my uncle’s friend came with his family. They were also devotees of Lord Krishna.

When his friend saw me, he asked my uncle, “Who is this guy?”

“He is my nephew,” my uncle put his arms on my shoulder and replied. “He studies at LPU. Now he has come to spend some time with us for a few days,” my uncle said.

Coincidentally, my uncle’s friend was also from Jalandhar and was happy to meet me.

They spent about an hour or two with us. Before leaving, he and his wife joyfully greeted everyone. Then he came up to me and embraced me. I felt relaxed and smiled at him.

I found solace in a divine atmosphere:

After they left the place, we went inside the Gundicha temple. The ambience was lovely, with many statues and pillars carved on wood and stone. Many monkeys were jumping from one pillar to another. Small children felt happy upon seeing them. I saw everyone cheerful and happy except me. There was a beautiful garden surrounding the temple as well. As I entered the temple, I felt relaxed. Bowing reverently before the deities, I sensed a gradual easing of my sorrows and pains as if they were dissipating. I felt Lord Jagannath heard my prayer and helped me from within.

After some time at the temple, we went to the Chaitanya Dandabhanga Dham. I didn’t talk to anyone and just sat silently, contemplating my problems and life goals. I was perplexed, and my heart burned due to a lack of clarity about life. Then I went to Gurudev’s Samadhi (Shrine where Gurudev’s body was buried after his disappearance.) I sat there and tried to remember my interaction with him and his unconditional love for me. At 4 PM, the doors of other temples opened, and I went to have the darshan of Lord Jagannath, Lord Baladev, and Mother Subhadra. There was also the deity of Lord Krishna. After bowing to the deities, I sat there for a few more minutes, and finally, Sumay-uncle asked everyone to hop in the car as it was getting darker. After 2 hours, we reached Sumay-uncle’s home, and I went straight to a room assigned to me. I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My phone rang, and it was Bhaskar’s call. I hesitatingly picked it up, and he asked me seriously, “Hey, Chirag! Where have you been? Why are you not picking up my call?”

I replied, “I wanted a break, so I did not respond to anyone. I will talk to you later. Now I am busy with my relatives.” I hung up the call.

A gift from sumay-uncle before I leave:

The following day, I woke up late and freshened up as I had to leave for home. Before departing, I went to Sumay-uncle’s office room. He was sitting there hearing chants. I went up to him and sat silently on a chair beside him. He looked at me and asked, “So, what’s up?”

“I am leaving for my home, uncle”, I replied.

“Yeah! Before you leave, I have a gift for you. I hope you will recover soon and live a peaceful life,” he said. Then he called one of his personal assistants and asked him to bring a book.

In the meantime, he advised me to focus on studying and start a spiritual practice. Then his assistant knocked at the door and handed over the book to him.

“Take this, read this at least 5-6 times. I hope this will give you some insights and help you understand the seriousness of your life,” said Sumay-uncle while giving me the book.

I held the book and looked at the cover. The book’s name was “Krishna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead“. I thanked my uncle, then touched his feet and bid him goodbye.

Then, I took a bus to my hometown, and during the entire journey, I only remembered the moments I had in Puri. I plugged in earphones and listened to the chants. Gradually, I was experiencing peace within. Then I heard an inner voice saying I should stop network marketing. But the decision was yet to be made. On the one hand, I had many promises to keep; on the other hand, I had to bring myself to a peaceful condition.

Stay tuned, as I will explain my decision in the next chapter…