After meeting Srila Sachinandan Gurudev at Dandabhanga Ashram(Puri), we returned to Cuttack that very night. Sumay-uncle sat beside me, engrossed in chanting on his beads, while I gazed through the windshield. A sense of unease washed over me as if I were leaving behind something irreplaceable. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt I would lose something significant.

I stayed at Sumay-uncle’s house for a couple of days. During my stay, he took me to various places to visit. I finally bid bye to Sumay-uncle & family. They blessed me for a better career. I came to my home and started packing my stuff. My parents were reminding me to fill in all the essentials and not to forget anything. For the first time, I would stay away from my family.

26 July, 2016: leaving my home

Finally, the day I had to leave had come. I woke up early in the morning and checked my bags once more. My train was at 2 PM, so I had some time before that. Therefore, I went to see some of my friends to say goodbye. It felt like I was leaving everything behind. But at the same time I was feeling excited upon embarking on a new journey of my life. I had always dreamt of studying in a big university where I could get a lot of exposures. My dream was coming true but at the cost of leaving my family and hometown behind. My childhood memories, my fights with my playmates and all the good memories, they were all flashing in my mind.

It was noon, and my mom served me lunch. Before that day, I used to criticize her cooking often, but on that day, I remained silent. My mom stood beside me, talking a lot and giving me advice. She said, “Don’t wander around. You’re going to study. Stay away from bad influences.” Suddenly, her voice choked, tears welled in her eyes, but she held back her emotions.

Then my father said, “Son, it’s time to go.” I didn’t feel alone because my father was also accompanying me to help me settle into my hostel. My older brother carried my luggage to the car. My mom didn’t come to the station to see me off. She just stood at the door, waving her hand. I don’t know how long she stood there. We reached the station and waited for the train to arrive. One of my friends came to see me off. After a few minutes, the train arrived, and we boarded it. My brother didn’t show much emotion, but he smiled and waved. I received many well wishes and goodbye messages from my friends.

the journey begins

After sitting in the train, I started daydreaming about my new life. The following morning, we arrived in New Delhi. We found a nearby hotel to freshen up and rest. Since I had never been to North India, my father asked if I was interested in exploring New Delhi. This piqued my curiosity, and my dad spoke to the hotel manager to arrange a cab. I visited famous places like Lal Quila, Lotus Temple, and India Gate. In the evening, we returned to the hotel. We gathered our belongings and went to the train station, where we waited until 9 o’clock. I was exhausted from exploring Delhi during the day, so as soon as I boarded the train to Punjab, I settled into the upper seat and fell asleep instantly.

The night had passed, and my father hadn’t slept at all. He came to my seat and woke me up around 5 o’clock in the morning. The train arrived at Jalandhar railway station shortly after, and we got down. I had seen Punjab in Bollywood movies, with people wandering in yellow mustard fields, sporting long beards and turbans. So, I always had a curiosity to visit such places. However, as we travelled by auto-rickshaw along the road, I looked around and could only see Indian Army soldiers standing with their weapons. It dawned on me that I would stay near the India-Pakistan border.

arriving at lpu

After 15-20 minutes, we arrived at a hotel to freshen up. Then, we made our way to the university, where I had to complete the remaining admission procedures. We arrived a little early and stood before the entrance for some time. I was eager to step inside the campus. I had seen numerous advertisements and posts about LPU, whose beautiful and expansive campus was a major attraction. At exactly 9 A.M., the entrance opened, and the security guards allowed us to enter the campus. The campus was massive, so the university had organized buses for the transportation of new students. We got on the bus, which took us to the administration block. There, I witnessed a gathering of thousands of students and their parents. The entire process took about 6 hours to complete.

Since the admission procedure took a long time, we couldn’t explore the campus that day. In the evening, we returned to the hotel room. The following day, we brought my luggage to the hostel to begin the process of moving in. My father assisted me in organizing my belongings. Afterwards, we took the opportunity to visit various places on the campus. The campus had a mall, cafeteria, and numerous food stalls. One notable aspect was that non-vegetarian food and intoxicants were prohibited on the campus. My father was pleased to see such facilities and the level of security provided. We then returned to the hostel room, where I saw my roommates sitting with their parents. We engaged in conversations with one another. I felt excited about commencing a new chapter in my life at this new place. However, my excitement soon waned as my father bid me farewell and walked through the college gate. I stood behind the gate, watching him leave. Suddenly, a wave of loneliness washed over me, and I began to feel nervous.

The following day, the orientation ceremony commenced, and our seniors warmly welcomed us. They performed dances, dramas, and songs to encourage the new students. The college director also delivered a speech emphasizing unity in diversity, given the diverse backgrounds of the students present. Classes began the next day, and our teachers introduced us to the subjects we would be studying. Gradually, I started becoming familiar with the new environment, and my initial nervousness faded away. I made friends from different states, and we quickly grew close. We would explore the campus together until late at night, sharing jokes and mimicking our teachers. During the first month, this became my way of passing the time. Life seemed to be more relaxed and happier.

first-year sense enjoyment

I adopted a very casual attitude towards my studies during my initial year. Some of my friends often said, “Let’s enjoy our first year to the fullest. We can become more serious from the second year onwards.” I found this idea appealing and wholeheartedly engaged in activities like playing cricket and watching late-night movies. LAN gaming sessions with my friends would go on all night, leading to a detrimental habit of staying up late.

Shortly after, our mid-semester exams arrived, and unfortunately, I performed poorly. My grades were sent to my father, who inquired about the reason for my low scores. I made an excuse, claiming that I was not acquainted with the subjects initially and found them challenging. However, I assured him that I would improve and do well in the semester exams.

The weather became delightful as autumn arrived, inspiring my friends and me to plan a two-day trip to Shimla. I approached my father for financial help, and he willingly provided the money without hesitation. Those two days turned out to be a wonderful treat for me. I had a great time exploring the hill station, visiting various places, and indulging in the flavors of local Shimla cuisine.

After a month, my first semester exams took place, and I worked hard to improve my performance. This time, I achieved decent results and felt satisfied with my efforts. Then, the time came for me to return home. I was excited as I would finally be able to reunite with my family after being away for half a year. It was the longest period I had ever spent apart from my parents, so the anticipation of seeing them again was overwhelming.

meeting my parents & sumay-uncle after a long time

I called my friends at hometown and informed them about my upcoming arrival, and they were thrilled to hear the news. Shortly after, I received a message on WhatsApp from a friend of Sumay-uncle, inviting me to a year-end retreat during Christmas, which heightened my excitement even more. The next day, I set off for Delhi Airport and boarded the flight bound for Bhubaneshwar. After a two-hour flight, I landed at Bhubaneshwar airport, where my dad was eagerly waiting for me outside. As soon as I retrieved my baggage, I hurried out and warmly embraced my dad. My dad’s face was beaming with happiness as he saw me. “So, feeling good? You have stayed away for a long time. Your mom is waiting for you at home,” he said. After a four-hour drive, we finally arrived home, even though it was already 3 A.M. To my surprise, my mom hadn’t slept and eagerly awaited my arrival. Upon seeing me, I immediately embraced her, and her face lit up with pure delight.

Some of my friends visited me the following day, and we spent time exploring nearby places. The day after, I went to Sumay-uncle’s house with my mom and dad. Knowing that he loved condensed milk (Khira), I brought some from the Khirachora Gopinath temple as a gift. Sumay-uncle greeted me with a warm smile, and I was delighted to meet him after a long time. My aunt and grandma were also happy upon seeing me and asked about my well-being. My parents left me there since I wanted to participate in the year-end retreat. I stayed with them for about 4-5 days. The retreat involved visiting various sacred places and temples and engaging in kirtan (devotional singing) and meditation amidst the beauty of nature. I joined in the activities, and it was an enjoyable experience. My uncle noticed a change in me since the time before I went to Punjab.

Previously, I used to chant regularly, but after spending six months in Punjab, I had forgotten about the spiritual teachings imparted by my uncle. He advised me to continue chanting regularly, regardless of my surroundings. I nodded in agreement, although I genuinely desired to enjoy material experiences & things to the fullest.

Little did I know that this desire would lead me into deep trouble. I experienced a significant decline in my academic performance, which resulted in unfavorable outcomes in my exams. Additionally, my relationship with my friends also hampered, contributing to a state of disarray in various aspects of my life.

Stay tuned to know how my desire for material sense enjoyment trapped me…